A challenge to my tech subscribers

Actually, this is likely a challenge to the webwatcher subscribers rather than the tech subscribers, but, whatever.

I have casually looked for and not found a podcast recommendation site which makes recommendations based on your musical tastes. “do you like song X? radio station Y? Then maybe you want to check out podcast Z.” But, of course, make it dynamic, and participatory, and all that stuff, with a huge list of podcasts. Thoughts?

So far from celebratory

Today was lobby day, where folks go to the state legislature and say “Bitch, what you thinking? Don’t go banning no gay marriage.” Missed it. Why? Class.

I have never felt less celebratory about my academics, save possibly the semester I withdrew, and the one I had a breakdown outside morewood, crying in the parking lot, where spring carnival is held, where I didn’t go because of the fucking spring banquet for my department. Which blew. Missing lobby day was the least of it. But it rubs salt in the wound that I missed it so I could come to a class where I contributed nothing, and got graded 3rd out of 3. Yeah, competitive grading. Fuck you, prof. That having been said, our group deserved the ranking it got. Our presentation was long and rambling. I wasn’t much help. Our speaker decided that 28 slides was perfectly reasonable for a 15 minute presentation. Despite repeated statements that we needed to slim it down. It also lacked coherent vision. Shocker.

I’m torn between apathy for a subject I don’t care about and disappointment in my performance.

I’m amazed that I cared more about the enteral and parenteral nutrition products spreadsheet I worked on over the summer than this. Yet somehow, it’s true. Grad school has been a giant waste of time. Maybe I’ll be just as disillusioned after two years of working for the man. Maybe not. But I’m ready to find out.

Straight C’s? C is for graduation, that’s good enough for me.

Oh yeah, today is also gay graduation. less than an hour and a half until it starts. I’m sure I’ll summon the motivation somehow, just not real clear as to how. or why.

Worthwhile class readings

So, I actually did the reading for class tomorrow. For tomorrow’s politics and public affairs, our professor included the first three chapters of “Bowling Alone”. I’ve been meaning to read it, and still haven’t read anything other than the first three chapters. But even in the midst of my end of semester slump it revitalized me. It’s a challenge. It says that we’re a dis-integrating society. That we are pulling out of our engagement in our community groups. And I want to pull us (well, some of us) back together. Obviously I can’t do anything on my own, and reknitting the social fabric is something that has to be done on a piecemeal basis rather than a single effort covering the entire country. But that’s something I’d very much like to be a part of.

Whether this is a book club, an outdoors group, or both of those and more, I still plan on participating. Whether I’ll drop my anti-social recreation to do this is a good question. But it’s a goal. And one that inspires me.

mourning my academic career

I think the big source of my mopiness and dissatisfaction of late has been my mourning of my academic career, which is nearly over, if not forever, certainly for a long time. Looking back over it, I can’t help but feel there are some many things I could have done better. Looking ahead to the next couple weeks, I know I’m going to cut more corners. And it makes me a little sad. If there is bitterness, it lies here. In the realm of things I would have liked to have accomplished, and probably even could have accomplished, but didn’t and won’t.

That’s probably part of why I slack to the extent I do. If I don’t turn it in, I don’t have to admit failure, yet. I could still make something great. Oh well, the moving finger writes.