Okay, I had a good date with a really great guy, and fooled around with him afterwards. After events, err, progressed, I was aggressively playful, and I triggered some bad juju memories from his past, (which he’d told me about earlier in the evening). He froze up and eventually got dressed and left. He kissed me goodnight (goodbye forever?) on his way out the door. I sent a big apology email the morning after, and haven’t heard back from him since he walked out the door. (late in the evening on Monday).
So, should I write him off? A major part of me is saying I’ve already violated his sense of safety, and I should not invade further. Another part is saying maybe he just isn’t interested. Those are the negative sides. Then there’s the “he’s an awesome guy, with more potential than I’ve met in awhile, and he seemed really interested in me, and maybe we can make this work, but I won’t know if I don’t try.”
Hmmm… It seems to me that you’ve done what you can: you’ve apologized and you’ve left the door open for something more…but he has to be willing to respond and walk through that door. I might try one more *extremely* low-key sort of communication, something that is crafted to avoid any connotation of pressure or invasiveness on your part. Not quite sure what that might be… If that falls flat then I’d say he’s made his choice clear.
Use the 3-day rule.
I think it is his turn to play. If he skips his turn then the game is over.
Yuppers. Perhaps after a bit … one more attempt if its really worth it – but otherwise its his game.
Sighs
Yeup
I agree with all your friends; you’ve got nothing to do but wait. Write him off, maybe, so if he comes back it’ll be a lovely surprise.