I know I have a tendency to premature attachments. Particularly over the net. Or meeting in some other largely unstructured circumstance. Filling in the blanks with my own hopes. There are many guys whose company would bring me happiness with their pants on. Probably, alot of them wouldn’t work so well with the pants off. Yet I seem to be shooting, balls to the walls, for someone to share my bed with. Including trying to recruit the occasional wholly unsuitable individual. And ignoring potential female friendage. Clearly the road to optimal happiness. Hmm, must ponder alternatives.
Stupid cultural obsession with sex/dating/exclusive romantic love. Stupid me for not shedding annoying cultural biases. =)
That’s a serious cultural issue. By convincing us that single=unhappy and sexual attractiveness=virtue, we can be sold all sorts of clothes and grooming products to address our perceived inadequacy. In Gay & Healthy in a Sick Society, the author talks about America’s “relationship addiction” that poisons romantic love by defining it as desperate neediness and not free choice.
You do that to?!
I’m trying to curb the sex part of if, but I’m the same way when it comes to making friends. Unless I have some romantic role for them to play in my life, it’s hard for me to make a real connection. :/ But hey… I’m single damn it. I’ll make “friends” once I have a boyfriend.
“Filling in the blanks with my own hopes”
*sigh* Well said. I do that, too, and it’s just a bad idea.
“Stupid cultural obsession with sex/dating/exclusive romantic love. Stupid me for not shedding annoying cultural biases. =)”
It’s much harder than it seems. Again, you’re in an age-group where you might feel some pressure to attach yourself to a particular person so you’re on a hunt for him.
I’m getting the sense from your posts that you are trying to match up against society’s expectations and keep trying to jiggle the variables to follow the formula. It probably even works sometimes, but you shouldn’t disregard the evidence against it.
It’s good to read these posts because I know where you’re coming from and I see you trying to figure yourself out. To end with a sappier thought: The late blooming flower is the most beautiful of them all. You, too, can be like Mulan. 🙂