I have this sneaking suspicion that so long as I am lacking in contentment with who I am, I will continue to date people because I want to be like them instead of wanting to be with them. Fortunately, the two are not mutually exclusive and often coincide but the first is a terrible reason to date someone.
Hmmm. I have the same suspicion about myself…
You could also date someone because they like you instead of you liking them. That’s similarly not mutually exclusive, but the first is still a terrible reason to date someone.
Seeing this potential is a good thing.
I’d think things are best when those two are mutual. Not that I haven’t [many times] in the past gone “Oh, he *likes* me. Therefore I should date/hang out with/sleep with/whatever him.”
Yeah. I don’t know anything about doing these things the wrong way first. Nope nope.
Now you know why I decided not to commit for the last year and half. I’d done that too much in the past. I’m in a place where I want to date now, but only if I have passion for the person. I never want to come as close to making as huge a mistake as I almost did.
I’ve definitlely also dated people I wanted to be like. Never went well.
Now I want someone with loads of self-confidence but that seems rare. I keep my *fingers crossed* but I’m not in a hurry either. I have little idea about the immediate-ish future (eg I’m staying in Toronto until August but after that… there are a few possibilities). I believe in long distance relationships, I know I can’t do that with just anyone.
Dating as a learning experience…not romantic, but why not? 🙂 Of course it’s most likely not going to help you develop someone else’s qualities…
I’ve certainly broke up with a few guys because their faults were the same as mine….
I don’t know if that’s worse. ^^