I’m serious. Tell me the things about me that annoy you, piss you off, that make me difficult to be around, whatever. I offer a general wrath amnesty for on topic posts here, but feel free to comment anonymously if, for whatever reason, you still fear my wrath.
You are one of the least annoying people I know. If I knew you better I’m sure I could think of something, since I get really irritable the longer I’m around someone, but I have no complaints so far.
Oh, I don’t fear your wrath. : ) I actually have difficulty imagining you really angry.
Hmmm, if you ever see Simon again, you should tell him that I told you to ask him about me when I’m angry. He’s seen me in full form once. might be even better. He’s been around for all but one of the full scale loss of temper events I’ve had since I met him.
Well, it’s unlikely that I’ll see either of those gentlemen without you being in town. : ) I see from afar every now and again, but, considering how many people we know in common, we’re surprisingly not often at the same events.
Yeah, I was unsure how much gaming w/ Simon you might be doing since he games w/ and from time to time. *shrug*. I’ve grabbed, I’ve shaken, I’ve yelled (I have good lungs). I have yet to hurt anyone. Self-control is the positive spin on that. Cowardice is the negative.
Cowardice is giving in to violence, not restraining oneself from using it.
Cowardice?
Little Brother, you’ve stood up to an elder sister who was 4 years older than you and bigger until late adolescence. You once took on 2 guys and slammed them both into lockers when you’d gone bersark. I have, in the past when annoyed by you, accused you of being Morally Superior, but I can’t think I’ve ever called you chicken. And believe me, as your annoying older sister, I probably would have if you had been. I’m glad that you have (like me) gotten a bit of a hold on your temper.
Wow, I’d never ask for people to do this! That would just guarantee that I have a bad week.
I’m wondering what is motivating this. Do you feel like you are having difficulty making or retaining friends, and want to know why?
Well, there are a few related criticisms I’ve recieved, on lj, in person, from employers about my interviewing impressions, and so forth and so on. Specifically about me and exuding arrogrance. I’m trying to get a wide range of views on it to see what if anything I ought to do about it. So far, not much new input. =)
Yes, but most people who know that they are intelligent are perceived as exuding arrogance by their intellectual inferiors. ; )
I have long loathed the linearization of intelligence. I much prefer something more organic, which describes people’s unique talents.
As have I. However, as Mom has frequently reminded both of us, we can be intellectual snobs, often without trying. You have a very fast “processor speed” and have been known to get a wee bit impatient with folks who don’t quite keep up. It doesn’t help either of us that we were expected to be constantly on top as far as academics were concerned. I know I was told pretty frequently that I was underperforming, particularly when someone else got higher grades. It’s a really hard fault to overcome, because sometimes it’s not even conscious – *Of course* I know that.
About a year and a half ago, I had a problem at my job because someone who was wanting to climb the ladder decided that I was a good target to take the fall for some of her mistakes, because she figured I wouldn’t get much sympathy. Too smart for my own good, or whatever. Unfortunately for her, my manager from my previous assignment spoke up immediately that if she didn’t want me, I was wanted back, thankyouverymuch. Without me to blame things on, the problems continued and the climber was fired. I really had to work to not show how satisfied I was with the final turn of events.
I’m good at learning new skills, and very good at my job, but I’ve got to be very careful about presenting that to folks, since it can come off as very arrogant.
I’ve thought about doing this, but I think I should refrain as well.
I held back the urge to criticize one of your commenters the other day. Does that count?
Not as an on topic response, but I’m grateful for any and all flamewars avoided.
I guess what I was trying to say, in a very indirect fashion, was something like this:
If you’re putting yourself under a magnifying glass, I hope the scrutiny doesn’t exceed what you use when looking at others. I find such an imbalance to be inadvisable. YMMV.
Well, I don’t know you personally, so I’ll just say that the most annoying thing about you is the fact that you don’t post naked pictures of yourself.
… anymore. My older pictures are better looking anyway. Browse the various nudie groups in my journal, and if you don’t go back far enough to find me, I’m sure you’ll still have seen plenty of eye candy. =)
you tease! =P
For what it’s worth, he could take perfectly fine naked self-pics right now and post those. He’s just being contrary when he refuses all of our requests that he take more pics for us all to enjoy. : )
Hmm..
Well, I don’t really know you yet, so I can’t yet criticize. But, I’m sure we’ll soon be thick as thieves, and then you won’t have any group eliciting criticism. It’s a complimentary service I provide to all my friends, to let them know I’m really paying attention. 🙂
If I was really pushed to criticize you, I’d probably complain about this post right here. It seems rather an invitation for compliments rather than the opposite. For shame! 😉
Oh, and you live too far away. Two buses, I’d have to take to get to Scrabble. I just hate that! 😛
Re: Hmm..
I’m afraid I cannot be held responsible for your inferior residential location decisions. 😉
I suppose I should appreciate that the people who _subscribe to my journal_ are not the ones most likely to have gripes about me.
i’ll be vague here. 🙂
and i’ll start off by saying that this isn’t something that bothers me about you really – nor is it something at all unique to you (or missing from me!)… BUT since you’re posted this here (and i gather why from skimming those comments, i think?), i’ll throw this out since it never hurts…
i’m not meaning to be critical – more suggestive…
anyway, something along the lines of a belief that one’s conclusions are factual or indisputable because of unfaulty logic (usually) used to reach them – and not realizing that there may be other factors not considered in the conclusion.
does that make any sense?
again, it’s nothing that bothered me specifically, but i figured i may as well throw something into the “we love steve” posts that was a little less praising 🙂
personally, i like reading your posts and your comments on mine…
nobody’s perfect, nor is their perspective…
(this gets me thinking along the lines of when it’s appropriate to state things that are not indisputable, or likely indisputable (vs things that are more opinionated and/or less researched) and how to qualify them (if that’s necessary))
i think what i’m getting at in the last paragraph is that something that could be bad/annoying in certain situations is good/not annoying in others 🙂
This is true. One thing about Stephen that sprang to mind when I first read this post is something that I find terribly annoying, but I see that (mostly) as a flaw in me and not a flaw in him, and certainly not as something that I think he should change. Should I list that? Methinks not.
However, I’m sure that other people would have a different perspective, and would label this behavior (of Stephen’s) as a flaw in him. I just place it in a different context than those other people.
Also, my inner brat sincerely hopes that Stephen is at least slightly aggravated that I haven’t mentioned what the behavior is. : )
Ah, so to enact the situation as a play…
“As you can see, the answer is clearly A.”
“But what about inputs x2, x3, and x4?”
“I do not see how those bear upon this case, so the answer remains A. Next question.”
Something like that?
Also, thanks for following directions. =)
Whoops, I first posted this as a reply to someone else’s.
You’re not just a vegan, you’re a very picky vegan. Can’t even take you to some exclusively vegan places. You seem to be able to find grocery store food for yourself, but it’s hard to find a place to eat out and still be considerate of you.
There! I’ve said it!
Guilty as charged, and minimally repentant. And thanks for complying with my request. =)
wait a second, didn’t I see a post from you recently about considering the abandonment of your vegan stance? Or was that a fever-dream of mine?
No, this was true. Then I read Silent Spring. That should keep me vegan for a few decades. Vegan and buying organic.
Though I have tentatively decided that I’ll make exceptions for bonito flakes on tofu and in udon soups. Much like my exceptions for ghee in indian food.
Well, you asked for it…
I agree with Sheena here. I find vegetarians fairly easy to accomodate, even those as a vociferous as Sheena, but I find it mildly annoying to figure out how to accomodate you. At some point I gave up, which seems to be fine with you. You also seem to wear veganism as a point of pride. I find that a bit grating.. it’s just on the edge of being holier-than-thou.
Occasionally I find blatant references to your sexuality in conversation jarring, again a point of pride. It’s almost like you just want the shock value and attention of being a gay vegan, and you let that define you. It’s certainly the first two words I’d use to describe you. Reading your journal and various conversations have helped me understand you further, but I think it’s what you exude.
Oh, and I hadn’t remembered this one until you came to Austin, but I did notice your BO a few times. I couldn’t decide if this was gay-cultural or personal (no offense meant there, but being surrounded by man flesh maybe the norm is to just go natural – and you’re not trying to impress the chicks), but it made it difficult now and then to be around you.
Sorry for being blunt, considering I really don’t know you that well. 🙂
I did ask for it, and bluntness sincerely appreciated.
BO was something I polled about awhile ago. It’s not a gay thing. It may be common in the bear crowd, but, well, the bear crowd isn’t all there is to the world of homos. No subgroup is. It’s hard to generalize about homos beyond the same sex attraction thing. My first host in Austin gave me much flak for it. In fact, my first few days in Austin were the first time I’ve worn deodorant of any sort in literally years and that was only because he specifically and adamantly requested it. What I usually do to manage my odor is shower frequently (ie, at least daily, more often if I get sweaty/active). I could see climate playing a role here.
I can feel the awkwardness around my open references to my sexuality. And if I’m not mistaken, it’s not so much my homosexuality per se that’s jarring, it’s something different. What I’ve done, how often I’ve done it, unpleasant consequences of what I’ve done, and how openly (or loudly) I share (or proclaim) such, probably make the more jarring references. Whereas, for instance, Tom’s frequent references to how much he loves Urso, I would expect to be not so jarring.
You, the lounge rats, are one of the few groups I hang out with on a consistent basis away from work/school where my sexuality wasn’t a major part of how I became involved in the group in the first place. I don’t have religion. My professional geek skills are atrophying, not that they were ever uber according to cmu standards, I think most vegans are painfully unskeptical in patterns of thought, I don’t watch tv nor do I keep up on sports, and I am ambivalent about small talk. At this point, I frequently start thinking “Well, what the hell does that leave?” Science, policy, stuff I’ve read, culture, travel, video and board games, cooking, biking, and basic gossip are the sort of things I talk about regularly and comfortably. None of those make for universal, or anywhere near universal connections. With my roommate, we talk video games, bunnies (his), and the usual imaginative verbal ramblings off of such.
That doesn’t really explain why I bring it up so often. And frankly, particularly given the reception it gets, I’m not sure why I do. I don’t feel proud of my sexuality, either the ‘homo’ aspect, or the other factors. Nor am I trying to provide a forced diversity training. I think that’s something for me to mull over.
I actively try to minimize difficulty around the vegan thing. I bring it up just about every goddam meal, because, well, it’s frequently relevant. I try not to be preachy about it.
Anyway, thanks again for answering my question at such length and with such specificity.
I’m not sure how/why it logged me out, but enh, as if it weren’t utterly obvious, yeah that’s me.
Yeah, you’re right – I meant sexuality in its broader context, not the specific gay attribute. This may partially be a fault of my own, since some of it is probably ingrained sexual taboos. So, you’re right, I think it’s the promiscuity. Maybe I’m just jealous. 🙂
You’re right about the climate thing, too. I suspect just showering would work well in the bay area, or in the far Northern hinterlands you’re in now. I suspect that it would also be okay in Austin if you were to stay in an office and had a body type different than mine – I sweat like a pig.
I think it’d be cool if you talked more about policy (maybe you do and I just wasn’t present for those convos) – but I’d feel kind of dumb, not having any facts in front of me.
your stool fetish
You just sit there on that stool, looking down at me all the time. I go to check my friends list, and there you are on the damn stool. Never moving, never changing, perched on the edge as though you may hop up or fall at any moment. Watching. Judging. Waiting. For what? We may never know.
I’m pedantic
It’s actually the post on my old bed, not a stool. =) It’s a little clearer if less flattering in the fullsize picture.
Re: I’m pedantic
aww.. you’re a percher! thats so cute…lol!
Um…. *Scratches head and shrugs* Can’t really think of anything.
Why the random demand for flaws?
An attempt to examine a widely noted character flaw that seems to have turned into a lovefest. Also wondering if there are any others to root out.
you called me on being rude. that was really irritating, because it was true. 😉
<chagrin level=minor>Yeah. It took me a minute to recall what you were talking about. I tried to bring it up as nonconfrontationally as possible without indulging in ambiguity. I’ll never speak of it again. =)</chagrin>
Well, it would be unfair if I didn’t post here since I commented in your LJ yesterday about this. However, what I posted about was the only thing that I find irritating about you, and I didn’t post it because I expect it to change.
To summarize, I perceive that you have a tendency to be sanctimonious, in particular related to social issues or issues of a related nature. Social strata, social policy, that sort of thing. To be fair, you carry the credentials to have strong opinions in that area.
I generally find your LJ an interesting source of information (the biodiesel thing, that study I read yesterday re: god being bad for society). I’ve met you, like you, I know how earnest you are, and that you’re a good person.
You were the inspiration. I was hoping others would be as direct and equally unvicious. They seem to have emphasized the latter quality over the former.
You’re also far from alone on that and related criticisms. and another friend labeled me pretentious. noted above that I have a tendency towards unjustified certainties. Multiple former higher ups at multiple workplaces have told me in a very frank evaluations that I came across as arrogant and inflexible in the interview (and totally not that way on the job).
So, in the spirit of self-improvement, it seems an obvious point to pursue, if somewhat behind getting to class on time in priority.
I have a similar character flaw that I’ve been working on for some time. I would sum it up in me as a tendency to speak from the facts as I understand them and make what appear to many others as proclamations, rather than statements, based on my knowledge. I have enough force of personality that I can even inadvertently appear as if I’m trying to come across as the source of information on subjects that I know a lot about.
I work around it by treating things I know well the same way that I treat things I don’t know well, and to consider what I’m saying beforehand. This is especially true online where I have the luxury of things like backspacing and not hitting “save” on documents or “send” on emails. YMMV, naturally.
The one thing that pisses me off about you is that you’re in Chicago. I have a feeling it would be nice to hang out with you and chat; which sucks btw. =P
Well, in minneapolis at present, though hopefully in chicago or sf permanently or semi-permanently within the year. This would be my second location complaint. =)
You moved to San Francisco. I posted on your LJ saying we should get together for dinner or something. I am pretty sure I even left my phone number, or at least an email address.
You never contacted me, not even to say “no thanks”.
Yeah, mea culpa, plain neglect. I’m sorry about that.
Why not, I’m game: When you present an opinion or idea, you don’t necessarily do so tentatively. Your voice comes booming from the heavens: “On the 8th day, God said, ‘Let there be no internal combustion engines.’ And God saw that it was good.” Put another way, you oversimplify, then criticize others for oversimplifying. This double-standard is even is even more surprising considering that you waffle in your self understanding. I’d expect someone who realizes that self-knowledge can be so tenuous would also realize that external knowledge can be equally tenuous. Finally and relatedly, you do indeed come off a bit sanctimonious. I can’t count the number of times you somehow slipped “I’m a vegan” into a conversation with a complete stranger, most often a waitress.
I wouldn’t say these things annoy me or piss me off. Those are too strong an expression of dislike — let’s go with, “Roll me eyes”.
For the most part, good and valid, but the bit about waitresses, c’mon.
They are my intermediary to the kitchen. They know things I don’t. Of course letting them know is a good idea. Also, “I’m a vegan.” is shorter than “Hey, let me know if anything I order contains any animal products,” and the potential follow on clarifications.
Otherwise, thanks for the input. =)
wow, 49 comments! 🙂
anyway – actually i think he said something very similar to what i was trying to say? interesting…
i don’t know if i’ll read all of this. 😉
Gotta back you up on the waitress thing, and I was one for a while. Lotsa stuff contains meat broth that doesn’t necessarily advertise its presence. Asking about the red sauce, the presence of egg in the lemon sauce, the omnipresent cheese in everything can get tedious. So you’ve occasionally gotta let folks know what your restrictions are. One of the better tips I got while at the Olive Pit was from a nice 7th Day Adventist couple who had inadvertantly ordered a meat juice-containing sauce with an otherwise vegetarian meal. They were very glad when I asked if they would prefer a vegetarian sauce.
As for your faults, geeze, Little Brother, I imagine you’ve gotta be deaf to me bringing it up by now.
Well if and when I get to know you better, I promise I will tell you.