Brought to you by a walk home in the rain at rush hour.
So, I get out of the grocery store and it starts to rain. Not a downpower, but not a light shower either. I head towards the bus shelter, only to see that a gaggle of smoking bitches have taken up residence, accelerating the progress of their lung cancer, emphysema and heart disease, while making the bus shelter a semi-open air gas chamber, rather than a public convenience. I decide to walk to the next shelter, and catch any bus that happens by at the right time. Turns out the next shelter is 80% of the way to my house (more than a mile away), and no buses come by in the time it takes me to walk there. All of this takes place on a noisy, smelly, congested street, of course. Shortly after spotting the nasty nicotine nuisances, some jackass decides that he should pull most of the way through the intersection, instead of allowing me to walk in front of him. This brilliant manuever gains him a two foot headstart when the light finally does change (after I’m on the opposing curb) because there’s no spot for him in the cross traffic because it’s rush hour, moron. Well, he also got the bird from me. After that, it’s a wet, but uneventful trudge for the next mile or so. As it turns out, had I waited for the bus, I might have made it home two minutes sooner, if that. On the home stretch, not one, but two twenty-something assholes in sports cars decided taking their opportunity was more important than obeying pedestrian right of way. The look of contempt and rage I shot one of them got him to stop in the middle of a left turn before my foot left the curb. It’s nice to know that in a pinch, I can succeed on an intimidate check. The other leadfoot noticed me when he was about halfway through the intersection and swerved to the other side of the street to avoid me. Napalm is a versatile solution to many problems.