Christian boy got back to me. His logically fallacies and emphaticness have increased. Not quite sure what to do with that one.
I found my wireless card, it was in the waterbottle holder of my backpack, presumably unnoticed for about 24 hours.
I worked out today, hardcore. It felt good. Keeping my heartrate pegged well above the recommended is both an ego-boost and a way of shaking off lethargy. Part of this awakening is generally an increase in libido. And immediately after, I’m showering, often with a hot guy or two in the same room. Courtesy 8 years of swim team, I don’t spring boners for hot guys, unless I have some sign of interest from them. (solo porn, even with erections, also does little for me). I did see a guy in there with tom of finland size genitalia, though not a tom of finland style body. It’s not a frequent sight, but I always feel sorry for those guys (the genitalia size, not the body shape).
It also got me thinking. I’m pretty disdainful of the boyfriend of the week, or even boyfriend of the month, club. I’m slightly exhasperated and slightly bemused by the waiting for marriage crowd. But, in my own way, I’m waiting for marriage. I don’t want to get serious about much of anyone until I have some assurance that we’d last. That combined with a self-effacing attitude, an internet-trained taste in bodies (doesn’t everyone live at the gym?), an impatience with people lacking ambition, an aversion to the domineering, and exhasperation for the folks who can’t ever seem to keep up with me at my normal mental pace may be a factor in my enduring singleness.
I don’t wanna stay home tonight. The web and ffxi are sterile, like hospitals, not like my roommate’s bunnies. So, after I clean the house, and get started on some laundry, I’m going to go … somewhere. Smoke-free gay dance club? How the hell am I supposed to meet my kind of homo on a saturday night? And what can I do to relax (not, per se, lower) my expectations? Hmmm.
Sadness, and hope through determination.