Category: Uncategorized

Smiter from St Louis

I was smitten by a gentleman from St Louis. It seems likely I will be heading that-a-way in january for a weekend.

On friday I made him dinner, we watched Knocked Up on the couch.

After we got out of bed saturday morning, we went to bruch at Wilde with Tony, Dean, Jake, and Tom. Then we saw Milk (which I recommend).

After a little window shopping for books, we met up with Krista, Nathaniel, Ellen, Leah, and Justin. We proceeded to consume tasty, but surprisingly affordable tapas at cafe iberico and see Wicked (also recommended, though the prices are nontrivial.)

I tried to show him the incredibles (on dvd), which he found amusing before he got too tired. Sunday I made vegetable fritata goodness. I tried to get some work done, then board game night. Yay!

Then he drove me in to work monday morning on his way home. =(

I am less than thrilled about waiting so long before round 2, but I suppose it prevents me, in some ways, from rushing in.

dear fedex

Dear FedEx,

I know the package was a two day delivery, but really it’s kind of absurd to put it on the truck and then say “oops, we’re here a day early, nevermind, let’s not deliver it or leave the note.” And tell me about it on your tracker. For serious? what is wrong with you?

Hugs, kisses

scu

queerness and the intolerance to respect continuum

I generally reject linear models and dichotomies, but today I was thinking: there is a rough continuum of acceptance, starting at intolerance and running through respect, which could apply to just about anything from my routine dress code violations (I should really just get some comfortable work shoes) to race relations, but I was thinking specifically with regard to homo and poly ways.

Intolerance is when you disapprove of the difference and actively try to stop it. (Remember this is a continuum. There are degrees of intolerance ranging from torture and execution to gentle reproof, and they are all intolerance.)

Tolerance is when you disapprove of something, but don’t try to stop it or change it. Frequently the tolerant will regard the tolerated with contempt, but be surprised when called out on it. They’ll protest that they have no problem with whatever bizarre, deviant difference exists between you, oblivious or indifferent to the insult. I vascillate between tolerance and intolerance of smoking, especially in public.

Acceptance is when the disapproval fades away. You know that uncle jimmy is a queer, but that’s just the way he is. You still don’t grant them equality, but you stop wishing they would change. The defensive reaction also fades but is still present.

Respect is where you acknowledge the legitimacy of the other person’s difference and treat them with and their difference with, well, respect.

It’s a thought framework. I’m sure some social psychologist or anthropologist has a better taxonomy, but work with it

Now my two points. I wish people would see that tolerance is a long way from respect. The defensive reaction is irksome.

Secondly, I better appreciate why a certain openly poly bi guy, married to a woman, said he thinks of me as queer, not gay. That was a bit of a headscratcher at the time, but it makes more sense now.

A lot of homos want narrow respect for same sex relationships, but barely tolerate bisexuality, the openly kinky, self identified poly people, racial minorities, and, in some cases, even the opposite sex.

I understand why some people look at that crowd and want nothing to do with “the gay community”. But as for me, well, I generally tolerate them, sadly.

Late nights

I have gotten to bed at 3-something AM for like 5 nights over the course of the past week, due to chatting with admittedly awesome admirables. But really. This is craziness. Especially since I still plan on going to the gym at 6:30am.

It would be so much easier if I were into stimulants. I have not-so-coincidentally started a green tea habit this week at work. I’ll figure out a better plan this week. Really. Quit looking at me like that. m>.>m

can I get a Woo-Hoo?

I ran 30 minutes (over 3 miles/400 calories, yay) on a treadmill this morning. I expect to get into the office on time (a rare ocurrence for me these days) and I got to spend last night until shamefully early in the morning (almost 3) chatting with two wonderful guys online. Caffeine will likely be needed at some point.

Also last night I made dinner for our dinner circle: kale, sundried tomato tofurkey soysage, mushroom and garlic pasta (thanks, ); salad with walnuts and parmesan; apple cider; and the omnipresent bread and cheese course. For once I didn’t make 3 times as much as was required (in part thanks to two mystery surprise guests).

I also chatted with on the phone last night. It was good to catch up.
So yesterday will be filed under “good day”. =)