Getting a word in edgewise
Dude, this sucks.
For the past two nights (the only time recently that I’ve had enough sleep to dream), I’ve been having nightmares about work, and nothing I do being good enough for anyone, everyone being relieved to see me go. And I know this isn’t the case, but still…
Though I feel compelled to say that, as a person, divorced from his position, I really do like my manager. He seems like a great guy. Probably just made the conflict all the more pointed.
Welcome antioch523 to the crowd. =)
I am amazed how clearly and deeply this less than 22 minute film spoke to me. It’s a retelling of events that probably more or less happened in
the writer/director/producer/etc‘s life. It’s told almost entirely via voiceover, blending narrative and commentary.
spoilers for those who might want to watch it later, when I get the tape
I have a few things to talk about. The connections between symbols and meaning and the conflict between the need for group identification and the need to distinguish the self.
I know this will be long, so I’ll start off with a cut
I’m good with languages, if I do say so myself. I pick up grammar, declensions, conjugations, etc with ease. My accent is generally well above average too. There’s just one little (okay, forking huge) problem.
My vocabulary sucks goat testicles. Thorny ones at that.
So, I’m going to set up a flat text file and a perl script to run through it and spit out some words, then, when prompted, supply me with the translation. I may eventually turn this into an exercise in database programming, but for now, I’ll just do this the wrong way. Don’t have to keep track of flash cards.
I guess this makes me a geek.
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Thank you.
Why I’m quitting my job:
I am fairly ambivalent about the job.
It doesn’t pay me much
I’ve been feeling mismanaged
I have no commitment to my current job or career path
Recent stupid management trick was the straw
In short, not worth putting up with
Why I’m going to san francisco:
Far better dating possibilities
Lots of friends, new and old, fewer of whom will be graduating & moving any time soon
Better public transportation (excellent in sf itself, crappy in da burbs, of course)
Like the coast, the parks, etc
Like the neighborhoods.
Tuition discount (~$11k) should I get into my first choice university
I’d probably have to move anyway, given lack of long-term reliable roomie.
(in short, I like the area, and expect to have fun there, even on a tight budget
& I’m not making another long term locational commitment to a place I expect to not like)
Concerns & responses:
Health Insurance?
COBRA for the few months it should take me to find a job
Can I afford it?
I have two paychecks coming. Then there’s my $1kish tax return and $400 housing
deposit. With all this, I can afford a few frugal months, including COBRA, food,
shelter, cell phone contract (can’t terminate without huge fees), student loan, debt
consolidation loan, transportation, and a very modest entertainment budget (library will
be my friend)
Friends?
I will miss those in the burgh, and enjoy those in sf. I will continue to visit
occasionally, when I have $$
Job?
Register with a temp agency after the first week of very active job hunting, continue
job hunting after that, and network socially and through volunteering
A life without stuff?
I rarely spend much time at home these days, so basically, I get by with what I carry
around, and I’ve been carrying around less these days. I will miss the ready access to
my books, and a reliably net-connected computer that is definitively mine (and
dvorak-ized), but books, videos, etc, I can get from the library (net access too), and
I’ll probably take my laptop with (yay, pcmcia modem).
Please to be shooting holes in my plan, so I can patch them. Resignation (effective July 26th) already tendered.
Am I completely fucking insane?
I’m tired, and I’ll be brief. I may just keep this a skeletal outline, and I may come back and flesh it in later, only time will tell.
Short form: I’m home same & sound, had a kick ass good time, and want to go back to toronto again some time. If Bush is re-elected, I’ll emigrate =)
Friday: Spotting people on the way there, laptop sadness, not spotting chris, calling CA, seeing the bed & breakfast, the aids memorial, gay scrabble night, and tea at timothy’s.
Saturday: Unexpected soy milk, Public transportation karma, kensington market where have you been all my life (oh wait, at kensington market), china town, Toronto Vegetarian Association, and my subcultural affiliations, shopping at out on the street, films festival shorts (Canadian program 4), annapurna and long metaphysical discussion, finding an internet cafe, and the horrors of being locked in qwerty (sweet, sweet dvorak), nap, film shorts festival (Slap & tickle), lost transit pass, walk home, sleep.
Sunday: Breakfast, ferry to toronto islands, Rectory cafe, gay nude beach, back to immaculate reception, greek cabby self-taught in english, cluelessness in customs, laptop and security, wild baby with untamed mother loose on plane, chinese dinner with sister over buffy, sweet sweet dvorak.
Synthesis: thoughts on toronto (possibly applicable to the rest of canada), denser, yet less centralized, cleaner, yet rougher cut. Cultural affiliations, straight edge punk???, gay, vegan/veggie, intellectual, geek. The meaning of symbols.