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Clearly my first tattoo should be of a Lemming:

Everything you wanted to know, but didn’t care enough about to ask

I backed off on my overly ambitious friends list. Dropped between 10 and 20 percent of them. Nothing personal to you good people who I dropped, but the scroll became a bit too powerful for me. =)

Confusing mishmash of dream elements. Can’t recall all of it.

Bits and pieces of it were straight out of warcraft3. I was the priestess of the moon for a nightelf team. I was out kicking ass with my brigade of lovelies. Someone started trashing my base, so we headed back. Only we stopped right outside, and I sent my units in one or two at a time. Unsurprisingly, we got spanked.

Then there was another dream, I was in chicago, and I was moving out. Except I was moving out from a place I’ve never lived in. And I owned a cat. Which ran away. And there was this old lady with a cat of her own. And me yelling in the streets. Oh yeah, and me shopping in some funky basement used goods store. Riddle me that.

I also have vague recollections of erotic dream elements. And . Wonder how that happened =)

When it comes to sex, my tastes are pretty simple. I got a dildo a few years ago, and for the most part it’s done nothing but collect dust. But there is something about the whole harness thing that catches my attention. When I was still in teeball, I wanted to bone He-man. Not that I really knew what it all meant, but the harness, and the furry crotch covering, and the muscles, and, well, you get the idea. I especially remember my great fondness for one of the little comic books that came with the he-man action figures which had he-man on the front, on his knees, tied down, with even bigger, dark and ominous male figure looming over him. Let me savor that image for a moment.

Ah…

Anyway, so, probably from the vegan cooking lj thing I’m on, I ran across an online vegan erotic supply store. Or maybe it was a websearch. But the point is, they have a harness. The guy modeling doesn’t do much for me, and I kind of wonder how visually pleasing I would be in such a contraption. And whether I’ll actually ever get sufficiently buff/sufficiently low percentage bodyfat to feel right wearing such a thing.

By and large I have pretty good physical self-esteem. I’m strong, decently fast, pretty flexible, and fairly coordinated. I can move furniture, climb any surface that is no more steep than vertical, run, swim, bike, etc. But none of that means, I’m comfy with how I look shirtless. I am perfectly comfortable walking around shirtless. Hell, I did the pride parade in skates and speedos a couple years ago. But that was with the swim team. I don’t think I’d have done it otherwise (though I skated back to join the chorus without putting anything more on). It’s just that with a harness, I’d feel like I was trying to look hot, and if I don’t feel hot then I’d end up looking like a guy who feels like a dork.

Anyway. Thanks to for the inspiration for me and so many others 😉

So my roommate just called me a ho, and I was kinda forced to agree (by het standards, anyway, I’ve had a slutty week). But that’s another story.

The day after I got out here, our dsl froze hard. Behind the absentee third roommate’s locked door. Disconnecting and reconnecting the phone wiring (plugged in at the kitchen) didn’t so much help. Sucko. I’ve been patching network connectivity through mooching off of the student computer labs, and hanging out at friend’s places, speaking of which, much thanks to and , both of whom also helped me feed my wc3 hunger, as well as my net needs =)

Looked at much housing. Some of the places look pretty cool, but I’m incredibly reluctant to commit while jobless. Especially to a year long lease. But for my would be roomies, time is running out, as the student deluge will soon begin, and they are strongly bound to Berkeley campus. Argh.

Time to get cracking on those temp job applications. No really, time to get cracking. No really, motherfucker, time to get cracking on those applications.

Where oh where did my motivation go?

Met cool guys. Feeling like I just naturally slid in socially out here, and I have seen only one of the guys I know from irc in person, he’s the one leaving for portland soon. He’s a cool guy, and we could have done fun stuff together, like bike all over the place, and climb, and visit the beach and photograph the tide, or whatever. But rent is steep, and it’s all too easy to be food in the bay area.

Speaking of food, I have sampled many good restaurants out here, at least 3 of which were specifically vegan. Bay area r0x0rs my world. And the trains. Bart, how I love thee, let me count the ways. Also, this place is crawling with cmu alums.

Okay, yeah. That’s it for now. Whee.

Job hunt, must remember job hunt. [Applied for like 3 or 4 things already, including natural grocery store cashier w/benefits, and tech god in martinez for the county govt.]

Stream of consciousness is fun. But this time, later, I mean it, really.

Good night.

Okay, so I was trying to surprise someone *cough* by my unexpected presence in the bay area after my flight difficulties, but he wasn’t there on friday, so I suprised instead. Of course, the dsl I’ve been relying on for my bay area job hunt fell down went boom. Behind the locked door of the out-of-town roommate, to whose room no one has keys. Ugh. I’m so ready to pull the fuse for the entire house (note, not circuit breakers, not separate fuses for each part of the house… Anyway…)

But we’ve found a few places in berkeley, all quite liveable. My only concern is signing on to a lease without a job. Naturally this is translating into a reluctance to agree to any place rather than an increased emphasis in job hunt (not that that’d do alot of good, see earlier comment re: dsl) And now that I do have net access again, I find that none of you have politely put your lives on pause while I’ve been ‘away’. The fact is that after 2 or three hours I still haven’t caught up. I give. You win. If it’s important, point it out to me, and I’ll see about making the effort =)

Many job opportunities identified, but more chatting. Hmmm, priorities. Bleh. Time to go ‘home’.

Okay, my flight for tomorrow evening has been canceled, on account of vanguard crumpling into nonexistence and filing chapter 11. The cheapest/best option currently available to me appears to be grabbing the train on monday from pittsburgh to emeryville ($159.30). I would get in on wednesday afternoon. I am pissed yet resigned. The ‘reduced rates on fares’ that I get by going through their suggested alternates require $100 trips to philly or chicago, and end up costing about twice as much as I originally paid, and more than twice as much as I would pay for rail travel.

For those of you with appropriate legal knowledge, is there anyway I can get my payment back, or does chapter 11 screw me out of that as well? Can I cancel ye ol credit card payment?

Hitchhiking is starting to look appealing. =)

Which inspired a neat, yet totally impractical idea. EHitchHiking. It’d work something like this: Hitch a ride from pittsburgh friend (perhaps my little sister) to columbus, where we would go dancing at Axis, and , say, could pick me up and take me further west. We’d stop off in indianapolis where some other cute, thoughtful gay guy who wants to meet me, and trap me in his car for 3 hours drives me to springfield, and from there to kansas city to meet , etc. =) It’s cool, because I’d get to meet these people in person and have time to get to know them. It’s radically impractical because of the geographical distribution of my friends, the tremendous time sacrifice it’d require from people I’ve never met, the trust I’d have to have in a chain of such people, the environmental impact of the double driving across the country, And the like. Oh well, it was an interesting toy idea.

Reasons I’m pissed:
Delaying the housing hunt, so that I may possibly be doing it on my own.
Making it so that I can’t see charlie off to portland.
Generally fucking with my life.
Delaying the in-person job hunt plan.

Now I have to go pack more. suck.

My furniture is gone. My fiction is packed. My kitchen is not. My clothing is mostly dirty. Much progress to make before liftoff, but I am not stressing about it too much. I have tomorrow and much of wednesday. I also have plans aplenty for my first week in san fran. =)

So, I’m minding my own business chatting late at night, when this guy who I find pretty physically attractive, but entirely too emotionally hung up to seriously consider sleeping with [again], sends me an im, and starts hinting at how horny he is. I bluntly ask him whether he’s trolling for sexual company. He tells me about this guy he’s been chatting with, and recently met (out of state but moving here soon), and how they’re both monogamous sorts. Then he asks me whether it’s cheating for him to sleep with someone else before he makes it here. I tell him that that is between him and his guy. This question/nonanswer exchange is repeated a few times, with variation. Then he says he’s going away for a few minutes. (to beat off, I’m guessing). Then he comes back, and says that his moral compass is clear, and thanks, but he’s sorry, he doesn’t think it’d be right for him to, etc, etc. Mostly, as soon as I heard about the guy moving here, I was amused. Particularly about him trying to shift responsibility for his moral code onto me.