Author: cheerfulchaotic

Well, today I did alot that was not-very-useful. I played a fair amount of neverwinter nights, then the power blipped out. D’oh. Chatted with Simon in the morning. Went over to the city and hung out with my uncle who calls himself Jack, and who the rest of the family calls Johnny. He’s the gay one on my dad’s side. I’ve been told he’s a little out there, but he seemed culturally in keeping with my family, just less prone to settling than even I.

After that I had intended to go do some reading of class-related stuff. But instead I went for a hike/bike (mostly bike) from dolores park, to the presidio, down towards baker beach (though I never actually went down _to_ baker beach), and back to herbivore on divisadero. It was cool, especially the presidio parts. Getting around in sf by bike is better than I’d thought. I did get off and push it up the hills in a couple points, but for the most part, I zipped along easily enough.

Dinner at herbivore with Steve (he’s started growing a goatee, and it looks good on him). (date #3 for those of you keeping track in the studio audience). But the palo alto <-> berkeley distance is rather limiting. He gave me a ride home (bike in the trunk), then good night, and quickly to sleep.

I likes the long bike rides, I needs to do more of them. This one was like an hour and a half, which is on the short side for a long ride, but it was good. It was also good to go out to a plant and vista rich, but people poor area. There was even an abandoned-looking building to make it that much cooler.

So, since my little spill on wednesday, I haven’t done alot. In fact, I don’t think I’ve actually made it in to work since then. Lunch with Marco on thursday. Rearranged my room (or was that before…?) Theoretically, I read on thu, but in practice I fixed the windows installation, and put neverwinter nights on. It’s okay, apologetically hack and slash. Friday evening was supposed to be a date with Steve, but that got rainchecked to Monday. Stayed up late talking with Tom and Simon. Played a great deal with the census website (hey, and , turns out lebanon county has a population density of about 332 (people/sq mile). Muskingum county, where I spent my later growing up years is 277, Perry county, where I spent my earlier growing up years, has about 80. I am ruraler than thou 😉 San Fran has about 16,000/sq mile, Aladema county has like 1,960/sq mile, and LA has 2,350/sq mile. I’m living in a more sprawled place than LA. How tragic 😉

Saturday morning, opted out of a bike ride on the basis of mental trauma and knee scrapes. Bending the knees really was rather painful, but it’s much better today. So instead, I went on a hike with Cal Rugged (queer hiking group, from Cal), through Tilden. We started out at the small farm, where we fed chicken, geese, ducks, cows, sheep, and goats. Then up to inspiration point, and down to ‘Lake’ Anza. I didn’t want to wade in with open sores, so I ended up napping in the shade on the beach. Ran into Josh from x20s. He expressed an interest in hanging out, maybe trying some strategic board games more complicated than Risk. Yay. =) Over to ‘s place in the city to bid it a temporary farewell for remodeling, with and , where I saw and chatted with in person for the first time in months. Also saw , , , , and others. But I mostly talked to people I already knew. Tagged along for a trip down to cafe. Came back and got a ride home with . I had a good time. I also apparently missed a game of strip poker.

Sunday I was basically useless. Made burritos for lunch, and despite my best intentions, never made it to the clinic. Instead I watched nearly finish final fantasy (now with better graphics), and did some neverwinter nights, and photo downloading. Mostly pictures of my injuries, because it interested me.

Today I’m going to head into sf to hang out & chat with my gay paternal uncle. Apparently we shared a room for about 3 months when I was 4. The one time I’ve talked to him since then was about two years ago: I introduced myself and that was about it. Don’t see my extended family much, and he’s apparently rather estranged from them as well. Later this evening, date #3 with Steve. Oh right, I should do reading for my class at some point. Basically no work has occurred these past two weeks, in no small part because Ro has been out of town. Also with my third consecutive week of no clinic, and not going to the gym for a week.

I am keenly aware of the distance between what I do and what I feel I ought to do. And I ought to be putting some work in towards my long term goals: getting in to gspp and getting out of debt, in particular. For that, getting the readings in and working longer hours would be good. But, if history is anything to judge by, I will not work longer hours. At the end of those 4 hours, my focus is shot. The reading, on the other hand, is probably mostly a matter of habituation. One thing that helps for habituation is having someone else to engage in the habit with. So maybe I should try recruiting people for a regular basis studygroup kinda thing. Not necessarily at our little peak of mount leroy 😉

Thanks to for recommending this book, it’s good. It’s a review of how America’s urban and real estate structure evolved, and a criticism of its current state. The author is accessible and engaging, without being banal. There were a couple words I had to look up, though. =)

An interesting excerpt

You’ll rapidly note that the order in the subject line has nothing to do with the order in which I write about the books:

Spirit Ring is, as far as I know, the only fantasy novel that bujold has ever written. It’s good. The characterization and POV is crisp and clear. The characters are likeable, and the plot is well paced. lots of anticipation, without falling into a lack of activity.

I did hope for something with a deeper meaning/larger scope to it though. The action really is confined to the small geographic area, and the small number of participants. There is a geopolitical landscape involved, but it is a largely static backdrop, with a single major change introduced, then effectively erased at the end of the novel. Further, the end tends to be a bit too tidy for my taste about wrapping events up. And there don’t seem to be any terribly profound statements made. I contrast this with Octavia Butler, where the action does get slow at times, no major character is completely absent character flaws that will make one’s teeth grind (obstinancy being chief among them), and the feel is dark, gritty, and depressing. But she makes some very interesting statements about human nature, and what it means to be human, not human, and human-but-better, and how, in many of her novels, the settings evolve. I guess this is largely a question for and . Do you see what I’m saying? Do you agree? And is my sample representative of the larger picture of her writing?

Secondly, there was something I saw reading Tuf Voyaging followed shortly by Ethan of Athos. The similarities are almost as remarkable as the differences between these two novels. (Tuf Voyaging is actually an anthology of works by the same author, in the same universe, about the same character, with similar scenarios and themes, so, kinda like “oathbound” by mercedes lackey. Not quite a novel, but anthology doesn’t seem right either. Both end with the revelation of an impending, sweeping biological change to a planet, specifically to the human ecology on a planet, deliberately introduced by man, in fact, by a small set of people making a decision for the entire planet’s population, the implications of which are not spelled out, but left to the reader’s imagination. I like that.

So, the presidential debates impressed me with how, uh, unified the candidates were. I had trouble determining anything meaningful from their statements. Dean and even Kucinich came across as mostly sane and reasonable. Examining their records strikes me as more useful, but of course, alot harder.

Biking ideas: I now have a bike with a rack for my panniers. They hold lots of stuff. I could go camping without driving. All I have to do is find a campground not too far (<20 miles, ideally) from a bart station, that's worth camping at. It would help as practice/preparation for my transcontinental bike plan. Furthermore, it would force more minimal camping, which I would find kinda cool. Sadly my tent and sleeping bag were ruined shortly before I left pittsburgh, sewage backup, no renter's insurance (of course). Besides, I'd rather not go alone. Hmmmm.

Soymilk blended with strawberries & (real/100% pure) maple syrup, very tasty, better than strawberry quik. =)

Soy mayonnaise (nayonnaise, specifically) is a good substitute for eggs in cookies/muffins, etc. Better than applesauce, or the flaxseed plan.

Well, Simon and Tom are eager to game. I have a copy of “Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil” which would make taking on the role of DM way easier. Granted, it’s very hack & slash, with a very black and white universe. But, it’d be a place to start. Now I just have to see who else I could recruit. Hmmm.

So, about an hour ago, I was biking along shattuck, past the intersection with center, when all of a sudden, I felt something massive brush against me, at high speed, and for a brief moment, I saw a white minivan pulling away, I think I yelled “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”, but I’m not really sure. I am sure that half an instant later, I was skidding about 2-3 yards along the pavement. I definitely said “Jesus Fucking Christ” as I was getting up. Bloody knee, torn shorts. No pain yet. Solicitous people asked me if I was okay. I responded “Well, I’m standing” with uncertainty, confidence, and relief. Shock is and was my friend. My bike was misaligned in the fall. Handlebars, gear shift, and right brake handle all in funky orientations, but nothing broken or bent, and I was in the process of realigning them when the driver came over. I told him repeatedly that I was fine, that there was no damage to me that time wouldn’t heal, and that the bike didn’t need a mechanic, with decreasing cold-shouldered-ness (though minorly increasing exhasperation). He kept saying that he wanted to pay for anything, and even said at one point, that he would like to pay for more than the damage.

But, really, what is there to say to that? “No, thank you. Your money won’t fix the damage you’ve done today. It was minor damage, time will fix it, get on with your life.” He gave me his card. The shock-numbness wore off on the walk back home. Injuries stung, I had a couple of almost starting to cry from aftershock moments, but all in all, I’m fine. A little more hardcore on my desire for better city planning with good transportation arrangements.

Injuries include scraped knee, and elbow, both hip and back also got hit through the clothing, and though abraded, are not bleeding. My biggest concern though is the tendon or ligament damage on the pinky side of my left hand. Still, not serious, I’m typing, after all.

So, Steve is cool. And attractive, and fun to talk to. 2nd date started off somewhat awkward and off balance, but corrected pretty smoothly. But now I’m experiencing an emotional reaction very similar to the one I had when Josh asked me, lo those many moons ago, “so, are we boyfriends?”, which is to say “I really don’t want to lose this guy, but I really don’t feel ready to commit”. I am pretty lonely and work unfulfilled, but let’s stick to the lonely for a minute.

I work all day with Ro, and only Ro. Our schedules don’t always overlap much. I’m not the sort to casually strike up conversation at the gym. At the clinic, there are some good guys, but when I’m medicing, I’m spending most of my time talking to people that I am not to approach in a nonclinical setting. (It’s come up with a few guys already). At home, well, simon’s back (yay), but he has a life that occupies more time with class & work than mine does. Tom works obscene hours in mountainview, and shannon likewise has a life.

Dating is not the ideal solution. For me, small groups (3-7) is optimal. Dates come in a fixed size of 2. Steve is also way the hell far away.

But the real problem here is that I’m thinking of person-I-will-be-dating as the solution for all the social activity I’m missing. If I take that burden of expectation away, Steve seems like someone well worth dating. But that means I’m going to have to try something else for the social angle. Hmmmm.

points to ponder.

courtesy : http://www.boardgamegeek.com/viewarticle.php3?articleid=18215

And I won twice in a row, both times by the skin of my teeth, the other day. Soon Simon will be here (tomorrow evening. I’ll be living with two, two of my favorite roommates, hah, hah, hah) and Matt reported that Simon found puerto rico this summer as well. Excellent. =)

But I really ought to get my reading in for class if I want to spend quality time with da roomies this evening. Maybe I should just hit gym then work, and give up on the notion of going back to sleep until after lunch. Hmmm.