A few years ago, in a car with
But what if we eat when we’re tired. Or we intoxicate ourselves when we’re lonely. And then there’s the internal states that don’t have a good default, disappointed, stressed, angry, whatever. I tried to make the analogy with Charlie that maybe he worked out as his usual response for something which usually led me to seek out a trick (saying that his was probably usually the better approach). Because the idea was not fully formed, and because I was getting embarrassed by the message, I just dropped it.
But I still think it’s valid. And if I default to running when I’m lonely that’s not going to help the loneliness (nor with the knees for that matter). My sex life has slowed down lately, in a good way. Maybe I replaced my bored-and-uncertain-about-my-evening default of gay.com or other sites with similarly ambiguous missions with World of Warcraft. Okay, so maybe that’s not all good news.
I still miss frequent interactions with people I know well, who know me well. I miss living with Simon,
Every person has a reason not to reach out to them. She’s too conservative, he’s too desperate for attention, she has an annoying habit of not listening, he makes excessive use of she-bonics, whatever. But maybe those reasons aren’t good in the aggregate. Too many such good reasons lead to a very lonely place. Time and patience, and willingness to live with one’s hunger rather than fill up on bread before the meal arrives might be a good thing. All things in good time. And now, I think it is the time for sleep.