Pittsburgh’s Amazing Advantage

One thing I rant about too much on here is my love life. One thing I don’t talk about enough is the kind of love that’s most important to me. The love of friends. Especially in the tight kind of enclaves that formed near me throughout my college career. Share&Enjoy, the Asylum crowd, the Skibo floor crowd, graffiti raiders, the phillips house, wilkins & wightman. None of them had or have formal membership requirements or activities. Glorified social circles, perhaps, but tight ones. I drifted, into, through, along side, and around them. But they are places and collections of friends where I had a strong sense of place and belonging. They mean alot to me, and they are hard for me to turn my back on.

During my time in chicago, I signed onto a number of groups and activities, swim team, chorus, and front runners being the most prominent ones. I never found that cohesive spirit there. I was only getting the sense of belonging and place in the most consistent/longest lasting of those (the chorus) at the end.

But that’s not the point. I just want to say that words can’t express how I care about and value my friends here.

All I ask for is….

A guy with a dancer/gymnast build, dark hair (preferably no longer than shoulder length), blue eyes, sideburns, some hair on the chin, a kinda grungy asthetic sense, a gentle and lively sense of humor, self-sufficiency and self-discipline, an intensely emotional bent, a nurturing nature and an observational approach to life. Must also speak fluent geek.

There now, that isn’t so much to ask for is it 😉

A break

I guess I work pretty hard at my life. I’m embroiled in a few causes, albeit none too deeply, and not at all exclusively for any of them, but I lend a hand here and there.

I study hard, and learn what I can. I still skip my homework more often than I ought, but, I tend to judge that according to what I think I’ll get out of doing it.

My heart may not be in the work, but I don’t think I’m the office slacker I sometimes feel like I am. I’ve done my fair share of late nights in the office that weren’t simply web browsing.

I actively seek out romantic connection. That I’ve spent most of my out life single anyway is a testimony to my own highly specific tastes, impatience with a sedate dating pace, fear and distrust of strangers, and less than ideal hunting grounds.

So, days like the past 24ish hours are rare for me.

events of the last 24ish hours

Dude, this sucks.

For the past two nights (the only time recently that I’ve had enough sleep to dream), I’ve been having nightmares about work, and nothing I do being good enough for anyone, everyone being relieved to see me go. And I know this isn’t the case, but still…

Though I feel compelled to say that, as a person, divorced from his position, I really do like my manager. He seems like a great guy. Probably just made the conflict all the more pointed.