Well, saturday I went and saw the parade. Ever since I did my own little bit of outrageousness in chicago’s pride parade, skates, related protective gear, speedos, and the ever-present backpack, and nothing else, I’ve been kinda enh on pride. I’m not big on parades. And despite my touristy presence at folsom and dore alley, I’m not that big on huge, densely packed masses of people milling about. Passive entertainment = bleh. Browsing booths isn’t much better. Hello, it’s the 21st century, time to get yourself a webpage. If I’m interested, google will show me the way =)
Could I be a bit embarrassed about my performance? Or is it my general aversion to mobs, and the way they can bring out an angry, and nearly violent side of me? Am I tired of the people who identify with “the gay community” and express it through the purchase of kitschy rainbow paraphenalia, which I basically did at one point? Or a tendency to hold hands, wave the rainbow, behave like a neutered carebear in public then pee on one another before barebacking anonymously in private? I do not know. But damn am I bitter. =)
I suspect that it’s mostly that I want, or at least, feel I ought to want, to date someone. Really, right now, what I need most are engaging friends who get along well together, such that I can join and add to the mix. Maybe the co-op will be a step in that direction.
A few years back, 5 to be precise, I went to my 5 year high school reunion. At this point in time, I’d been an officer in the various campus gay groups, had had a longish-term-in-the-gay-world relationship, had come out to a couple of my high school chums, had been called “Mr Gay Youth Pride” by my friends and was just generally out. At my reunion, I tested the waters in a deplorably cowardly way, slamming a friend who wasn’t there for being flaming. Getting an unclear reaction, I didn’t open up. Immediately after I left, well before the end of the reunion, I went to Axis, a gay club in columbus, danced shirtless, humped a few guys on the dancefloor, and kissed a stranger.
I’d been feeling a little claustrophobic at work these past few weeks because of my silence. One of my fellow graduate research assistants is from sf, alamo square to be precise, lives in loring park (the local gayborhood v2.0), and had the right hair. I guessed, but didn’t do anything about my guessing.
He was chatting with one of my cubemates (to whom I had recently shown lj), and he asked me if I’d ridden the light rail (free!) that weekend. I hadn’t, but I used it as an in to mention pride, and my disenchantment, which he sorta agreed with. Kim was apparently a little surprised by this, to which I responded “Seeing shirtless guys dancing on floats gets old after awhile”. (The truth is that is the least part of the parade. There are at least as many politicians seeking the gay vote as shirtless guys on floats.) Then the converation moved on to fahrenheit 9/11 and a few other topics, can’t really remember where it went. I’m not feeling claustrophobic anymore. But I’m still no fan of pride. =)
Haha, neutered carebears.
I was so all about Pride as recently as 2 years ago, but after satisfying my curiosity, it’s kind of like any annual commercial “community” event. Been there, done that.
You described pride pretty accuratly. Maybe we should have gone together. We could have had fun being bitches.
Pride is also about coorporations, who probably really don’t give a shit about the GLBT community, trying to get a bunch of fags and dykes to give them money.
Yeah. I’m bitter too.