- Do not tell me how much dating is wearing you out, how tired you are of dating, or how you wish you were asexual
- Do not tell me about the assholes you’ve dated
- Do not ask me what went wrong with prior boyfriends
- Do not talk trash about people you don’t personally know (unless it’s W)
- Do not bemoan how no one cares about romance.
- Do not bemoan the common pathologies of your romantic failures
- Do not act like wanting someone physically attractive is wrong.
- Do not express who you are attracted to in negative terms
- Do not play the martyr if I am not glowingly supportive of your negative approach to dating
I’m aware of the hypocrisy intrinsic to the above =) It’s called “venting”.
- Do spend time talking about what you like and enjoy
- Do describe what attracts you in positive terms
- Do act like you enjoy talking with me.
What, you expect people to have social skills? So demanding!
😉
negative singles
I fear that some people may take the following too harshly … but when I run into people with the downer traits that you listed so descriptively above, I wander away thinking, “There are reasons why that person is single.”
Re: negative singles
I admit, it ran through my head a few times.
that sounds
healthy to me. 🙂
If someone was doing some of the above to me in a public group situation (e.g. party, restaurant, etc) I’d ask them politely to change the channel, or find something else to talk about. If I was going out with them on a ‘date’ or at least a semi-private meeting, and they talked about that stuff, I’d ditch them about ~5 minutes later. You’ve got a valid point, dear.
Appropriate Reactions
The forum was chatting online, and it was something to which he built up gradually. I think I need some sort of deflection comment like “Ugh, well, onto more pleasant topics…” or “Help! My pants just spontaneously combusted!”
Re: Appropriate Reactions
I think the best ‘deflection comment’ would be the Close button on the chat window… Says just EXACTLY what you want to say, and no belaboring the point.
is THAT why it hasn’t been working all these years?
damn.
All that time wasted…..
😛
Dude you are too demanding.
Anything else is just cake. Sheesh.
*griN* Okay kidding.
cake
I’d require he also have a tasty dick or a biteable ass, personally.
Re: cake
If I can’t talk to them, they could have the most wonderful body in the world, and it ain’t gonna go nowhere. =)
Re: cake
I’m inclined to agree with you on this one. Admittedly, there have been times where I’ve had flings with guys just because of their physical appearance. It’s like eating cotton candy, though. It may be fun during, but strangely unsatisfying in the end. I seem to require at least some intellectual/emotional draw beyond just lusting after each other’s bodies to really make it work for me. Anything beyond a fling, the requirements tend to hike up quite a bit, and I can be pretty picky. On the other hand, I don’t require someone to be able to quote Derrida or Quine on demand… Perhaps my short list of qualities I tend to look for are:
I think that’s the core of my “wish list” at present. These are qualities I also try to live up to, more successfully with some than others. (It’s easy for me to be too dour and reserved at times. I sometimes need to make an active effort to enjoy myself, especially in group social occasions. It helps that I have friends around who remind me to relax and have a good time.)
I didn’t know…
You dated him too?
I have recently discovered that someone riddled with issues and insecurities and problems is at least interesting, if slightly depressing. Not like the horror that is RUGothe.
At dinner someone compared him to astronomical phenomina like a black hole.
I replied that that was silly- a black hole has an attractive force.
Greek2Me agreed, ‘And an event horizon. Implying something happens.’
Re: I didn’t know…
Damn, that’s harsh. I think I like you already.
(VE, are you paying attention? that is harsh. =)
Re: I didn’t know…
Yes. I’m evil.
fun, sweet, and pure evil.