I’m not in favor of absolutely open relationships any more than I’m in favor of absolutely closed ones. In a relationship I’d ideally like to be free to mess around in a no-penetration-even-if-barriers-are-involved (oral included as penetration) sort of way, and do that rarely, and with decreasing frequency, and have it be a very symmetric setup.
The number of people who are exclusively into anal sex disturbs me. I mean, sure, the prostate is a wonderful thing, and everyone should experience the joy, but, uh, major std risks, pain (in my experience pain is typical, though not universal), and smelly messiness. <shrug> To each their own, I suppose. My own is far more in the oral camp. =)
someone i knew in high school once said that she would consider anything that involved exchange of bodily fluids to be cheating…
so kissing was out. anything you could think of doing with your hands, not out.
i suppose there are some loopholes here.
i could never decide what i thought of this stuff. opinions vary so widely- and really, i suppose, that’s all there is to it, right?
exclusive sexual behaviors
There is such a wonderful variety of sexual behaviors, limited only by our imaginations … I truly believe that the mind is our most important sexual organ.
People who have created any sort of pre-defined sexual identities for themselves are missing out.
Re: exclusive sexual behaviors
the combination of what you said, and that icon of yours, makes me think odd things 😉
Re: exclusive sexual behaviors
Please think out loud 😉
Where is the oral camp? I wanna go! I wonder if they have any counselor openings.
Interesting
Your position on semi-monogamy seems pretty sensible to me; unfortunately its success in the real world is partially contingent on the folks you get involved with feeling the same. That’s a problem with just about any stand on the matter, I suppose.
There’s a lot of reasons why an unexamined monogamy is pretty dumb, but there’s also a whole lot of correlation==causation thinking going on between monogamy and insecurity. Admittedly I could just be on the defensive because I happen to be in a monogamous relationship now, but I don’t really consider myself prone to relationship-insecurity-jealousy sorts of snarls. You know me well enough, Steve, so I guess you can judge for yourself.
Point being, the only reason in my mind for staying in a one-person-only relationship for you is if the emotional high of being with that one person happens to be great enough as to wipe out all the opportunity cost of great conversations/sex elsewhere. If that stops being the case, then you should get out. Period.
I don’t really believe that there’s only one person out there in the world for every other person…life would be a lot simpler if that were the case, but probably less interesting. 🙂 I do, however, think its possible to select one out of the multitudes and be happy with that choice, given that the person in question becomes more interesting to you over time, not less.