My opinions on HIV and responsibility

This is my day of negative opinion, I guess. =)

I posted a couple of comments to a journal entry of that I’d like to repeat here:

So, I’m kinda radical within the gay community in my opinion on this one, but the words “negligent homicide” always come to mind when I hear people say it’s okay not to volunteer the information. My straight friends have generally been even more vociferous in this position. I admit I’ve more often not asked than asked, and I’ve only ever asked about hiv, not about other fatals, incurables, or even curable inconveniences, so my own ass is on the line, though, given my tricking habits (similar to yours, but I have used condoms a couple of times during oral sex, once when the guy had what looked like a small scab on his penis). I’ve also stated that if I do seroconvert, I’m heading off to a tattoo parlor to get a biohazard symbol with the letters H.I.V. right above it, probably front and back. I feel pretty confident I would follow through on that.

The party line is that unprotected oral sex is even less risky than protected anal sex, but not zero risk. If you’re curious, I can get a little into the why’s and wherefore’s of that.

I feel it is the moral duty of the positive to inform their partners, and of the at-risk to stay informed of their own status. I feel it is a sensible survival strategy of the negative to ask their partners, and to only sleep with people they trust. There’s a huge disincentive to tell, in that the guy that you are currently so very hot for might say ‘no’, will almost certainly limit what’s going to happen in some way, and may even become hostile, vicious, unfriendly, whatever.

People absolutely are less conscientious now that there is a treatment available. Before reliable treatment came on the scene, as people were dying in droves, the gay subculture started shifting towards greater sexual responsibility, either through natural selection, or (I’d like to think) through a raising awareness of the potential consequences of our actions. It’s good that people are lasting longer, and I’m certainly not advocating a ‘wedding night virgin’ approach, or even serial monogamy, necessarily. There are other ways of being responsible. But there are also a whole lotta people who are being irresponsible, while glossing over the consequences, both for themselves, and for others.

to clarify a couple of points:

1) a whole lotta people

Not just gay people, and certainly not a large portion of any demographic you care to name. But it’s very possible for a small group of the highly irresponsible to do alot of harm to a much larger group of fairly responsible people.

2) Accusatory/Finger-waggling stance

There are people doing seriously bad shit, moderately bad shit, and minorly bad shit out there. This is a fact of life, and applies to more than just stds. Protecting yourself is always a good move. But those who do not protect themselves do not deserve the harm. Nobody does. And some accusation and finger waggling is entirely appropriate to my mind, and distinctly underused.

From a more constructive viewpoint, in my ideal world: Morally, people would keep informed of their own health status, and inform people of the risk they would be taking. Sensibly, people would take some basic precautions with anyone, even the apparently healthy, and would take further measures to protect themselves from known infectious individuals.

This would be one of those rare moments when I get dogmatic, we now return you to your regularly scheduled me.