Reading “Guns, Germs, and Steel”, there is a theme which seems particularly relevant. I believe firmly in the macrocosm and microcosm being reflections of one another, and for individual humans being the cells of humanity. That’s background, not the point.
In discussing the birth of agriculture and the domestication of plants, the author makes the point that while “domestication” sounds very deliberate, it was nothing of the sort. It was, in all likelihood, in almost all cases, a combination of small steps, with individual goals, that all happened to add up to domestication, without any intent for the ‘ultimate’ outcome. When people with more experience talk about the development of people in their late teens and early twenties, and how these people are even now finding themselves, I think something very similar is occuring with many of them.
And on a completely different note… Jack L Chalker’s “Dancing Gods” series reminds me a great deal of Piers Anthony’s Xanth series, though a little darker/more serious. Both mock the heroic fantasy genre, the archetypes substituted for characters, etc, etc, yet both also get something of value out of it. Anyway, there is a species of fairy in that world called a Kauri. They are female sex sprites that take away the misery and suffering, and general mental damage of men. Eventually, they get overloaded with the yuck, and have to go burn it off by bathing in lava. A progressive imbalance, which is periodically reset.
A few years ago, when I first read it, I saw myself as a gay male version of that. I now think that was fairly crackheaded of me. But it does occur to me that it’s a pretty good model for me and emotional disturbance from other people. Involvement with other people around me alters my internal flows, and sooner or later creates disturbances. Solitude allows the channels to clear (assuming I let them, cultivate the calm, whatever). The deeper the contact, the more people involved, the greater the alteration/disturbance. Will not get better without navelgazing time. Both are necessary to a happy/healthy existence. Insufficient people time, no flow. Insufficient me time, and it’s a river overflowing its banks and cutting a swath of destruction. Big duh. But that’s what’s on my mind.
conflict management ..
well hon, not to put my ring on and tell you how you are .. since i really don’t know you .. but i’ve found that it is generally more socially efficient to manage such things without needing the overflow point / major maintenance / back to functionality cycle.
that is to say, sometimes a little prepatory confrontation (i.e. when surrounded by people that are being nasty, don’t internalize your reaction) can defuse a bigger confrontation that can have longer term consequences.
you’re a fairly gentle soul, stephen, but that doesn’t mean you have to allow yourself to get walked on (or have your internal flows disturbed, if you will) until you must lash out in defense.
i’ve sat on saying this for awhile, but i wanted to say it when you were posting re: that nonsense that pissed you off so before you left for the holiday. i don’t know the rest of those people, however, and i was intent on avoiding being some distant third party taking “sides” or whatever.
anyhow. yeah. back to work for me. 🙂
Re: conflict management ..
Yeah, you definitely have a point. I just hate going off half cocked and incoherent. I feel like reacting before I really know what’s going on even just internally to me is a formula for unproductive disaster. Acting out of fresh/hot feelings of rage, fear, or frustration leads to all sorts of bad shit more often than not. I always dislike confrontation, but I absolutely abhor it when I don’t feel prepared for handling it productively.