When all your hopes are ashes
Whose pyre you watched burn
When all your dreams are gone
Where is it that you turn?
Take up your book of matches
Give us all another urn
Expose the truth about the con
You can help others learn
When all your hopes are ashes
Whose pyre you watched burn
When all your dreams are gone
Where is it that you turn?
Dole out the bloody lashes
Give them what they earn
Yourself the role of Master don
Bring Order fierce and stern
When all your hopes are ashes
Whose pyre you watched burn
When all your dreams are gone
Where is it that you turn?
Keep all your broken wishes
Pretend to not discern
Think only of the lost anon
Never cease to yearn
When all your hopes are ashes
Whose pyre you watched burn
When all your dreams are gone
Where is it that you turn?
Survey your wounds and gashes
Old ways now overturn
Unveil your eyes to the dawn
Let true hope return
-Stephen C. Ulrich jr. (with assistance from rhymemaster,
*chuckle* poetry.
decent rhymes, nice flow, doesn’t seem as deep as you normally go in everyday conversation, but I like the upperword swing to the end.
The opinion you asked for
I usually think that trying to rhyme makes a poem lose some of its depth, since some effort goes into finding words to fit instead of words to add to the meaning. However yours has meaning and flows well too. 🙂