Anniversary

A year ago today, I walked in to work. Or maybe I biked. I was late as was typical for me during the first half of my year as a user services consultant. was flipping out, and I had no idea why. She explained, and at first I didn’t understand, or didn’t believe. My reaction was shock, but I wasn’t surprised by the general thrust of it. That terrorists targeted America didn’t surprise me. That the targets of choice were our corporate and military headquarters didn’t surprise me. That it happened through the airline system didn’t surprise me. I rather glumly observed to Yerin that this was probably the most significant historical event of our lifetimes to date.

Our building was evacuated towards the middle of the day. Apparently, someone had left a briefcase lying around. My reaction was as much incredulity at the reactions of those around me as anything else. This is real life. Losses of civilian life, not to mention property, haven’t happened on American soil, on this scale, in years. It’s also hundreds of miles away, at places that symbolize something far different, and socially far more significant than a high (but not top) ranked technical institution. Let alone a smallish building providing technical services.

Downtown Pittsburgh was evacuated.

This is American courage.

An unpopular sentiment it may be, but it saddens me. Courage is shown most clearly in the control of fear, in the action taken despite it. In spitting in the face of danger. In going into a building that may well collapse, in an attempt to save lives.

This too is American courage.

I object to the word ‘hero’ only because it seems faint praise. It fails to capture, in my mind, the full complexity of actions taken with and despite fear, be they out of duty, out of hope, or out of compassion.

I find our current war a horrific, tragic, and wholly unnecessary memorial to those who have died. Instead of seeking to make the world safer, we’ve made it more dangerous. More dangerous for the innocents inevitably deprived of life in the crossfire, as well as for ourselves and our children, as we create more terrorists, by orphaning more young men, and destroying that which they hold dear.

I hope we develop the wisdom and courage to seek a solution which builds a future of peace, and not one of war.