So there’s some messy crap that went down late in my first decade/early in my second. I mention it in my webpage, without giving much detail. Twice in the past couple of days, I’ve told the story, including much more detail, to a couple of young gentlemen. It’s kinda strange. It used to be, a long time ago, I dropped out my emotional baggage baggage to everyone, and it got to the point where it was about as meaningful to me as “Hi, how are you?”.
I’ve been much more impacted by my recent retellings. I’ve almost felt like I was reliving it. <sigh> If I cried more easily, my cheeks would be wet.
For me, it got to a point where when I tell of my horrid tales, people thought I wasn’t sincere about it. It’s just after the 100th time, you learn to become numb when telling your story…
Taking a step back, letting time pass, and then trying to retell certain life experiences, brings it all back, where you can’t say it right, or as eloquently as before, because you’re surprised at the intensity of emotions you’re bringing forth…
Yeah, I undersand what you mean.
I hope you have a pleasant weekend. Be well and safe. =)
I use humour and off-handedness to try and stop bad childhood stuff from touching my current situation. Helps me pretend it doesn’t bother me at all, anymore.