Why do I mention my sexual orientation in roommate ads? It seems to encourage people to ignore all else for good or for ill and focus on that. I want to live with geeks. Queer geeks would be great, but geek is more important.
Not that geeks don’t often present their own roommate challenges. But the fashionista crowd and I just don’t make such great roommates (gay or straight).
This whining has been brought to you by Stephen’s internalized homphobia.
I would recommend against mentioning your sexual orientation for exactly the reasons you described. Whenever I’ve read an ad that explicitly lists orientation (whatever it may be), I wonder if that’s in there because they want me to know that this would be extremely relevant to my living situation. The same applies to race information, etc..
The same way, I do not mention that my boyfriend and his dog stay over at the house on the weekends in the roommate ads, but mention it when I’m talking to them directly and make sure it isn’t a problem.
It’s probably still for the best. If a cockophiliac roommate is enough to reduce your ad’s appeal while in the browsing stage, then the reaction will only be more severe when they learn after moving in.
It seems reasonable not to put it in, mentioning it in your roommate interviews instead. That way, you don’t get people just looking for sex, and don’t lose the people who think you’re doing so.
we definitely mention orientation when looking for roomies, though it might be less relevant in a one on one roomate scenario than multiples.
but then i mention all the other aspects (smokers, drinkers, pet, etc).
i think it’s just easier to have as much information as possible ahead of time. if someone is homophobic, why waste time? that and i just really prefer to live with gay men (drama free – or at very least drama light gay men)
I do miss the left coast; people seem so much less concerned about things out there.
I don’t think there is anything wrong to mention your sexual orientation. It’s better to be up front and weed out any roommate candidates who are homophobic.
Too bad our lease wasn’t up sooner.
I can find short term sublessors, if you guys are willing to share a space that may be the best plan… Would west lakeview be acceptable to you? It’d add some distance and time on to the commute…
You know, a large number of geeks don’t give a shit whether they’re roommates are gay or straight. Especially in the bay area. You might just leave off your sexual orientation.
Very true. I’m thinking of saying something generic in the next iteration like “sexual orientation/gender identity not an issue, all are welcome” or something like that. Should weed out the intolerant without making hets feel unwelcome. =)
You’re in california looking for single (ish) geeks to room with. Aren’t they all gay? 🙂
Chicago is a far cry for CA. 😉 I think it works better on the left coast. *pining sigh*
Maybe change the wording of the ad to something emphasizing nerd stuff?
“Huge geek looking to share [adjective] apartment near [location] with fellow nerd. Also, all of my base are belong to buttsecks, but I would only watch Project Runway if a cyborg was on it. Interested males or females of any sexual orientation can contact me for more info at [wherever].”
I can’t think of a way to make it any nerdier while retaining relevant info, but maybe you can?