social life, free time, travel, and location

I gave up on veganism here in chicago, when out with others because it was causing a serious crimp in my social life. Or so I felt at the time. Funny thing, now that I’m vegetarian out, I have developed other barriers.

To be fair, I have a job that demands 8 hours a day, with a mandatory, doesn’t count for hours, 45 minute lunch. Add in a nearly 1 hour commute each way, and you have 10+ hour day. I can do sudoku and crosswords, catch up on my Collapse reading on the train, but it’s still 8-9 hours/week sitting on the train (assuming I don’t stop anywhere interesting along the way. Significantly longer if I have any evening activities south of home. Hint, that’s where most of the interesting stuff happens. Not to mention the 2+ hours/weekend spent traveling (assuming I go anywhere). But I still feel like my entire life outside of work plunged into well chilled molasses.

Have I thought about moving to reduce the commute? Hell yes. My roommates are good people, but they have different interests and different values. And if I last a year here, that’s all I’ll last. Because I said I would. Because I don’t want to pay to move again. Because I don’t have the time to search for a good place. Because I’ve tried finding myself through changing apartments in chicago in the past, and it didn’t work.

I’m also not liking the whole gay chat medium experience. Yes, Virginia, I’ve dipped my foot back in the pool. Same shit, different services. Mixed motives. Hell, I know all about mixed motives. I want a good circle of friends. I want some sense of community involvement. Actually, as I’ve alluded to, my order of preference is probably activists, gamers, then homos (all 3 would be rockstar). And I’d still like to date and get laid, thanks. Broadcast culture, whether it be tv, theatre, radio, whatever, leaves much to be desired. Feedback, interactivity. And richer dynamics than one-on-one interaction affords. These are things I’m lacking in my life.

I want activists, because these are people who believe in something and work towards it, frequently sacrificing extraordinary quantities of time, energy, and potential salary. Mad props to for her activism. On another level though, getting involved with activist communities is problematic, because I can’t wave signs due to my position. (though I can attend rallies, just not hold banners. I shit you not, welcome to the logic of bureaucracy. It’s not that particular restriction, but how everything becomes a minefield of what I’m supposed to do and not supposed to do.)

Gamers are a little trickier. Most notably, finding them, in a working town known more for its union laborers and baseball stadia than its computer scientists and nerd culture.

I feel like I’m losing touch with the things that make me happy. Like I couldn’t even tell you what they are any more (this post was partially to think about what it was, so that I could get back in touch with it). I mean, I can and do make nice with the gaming disdaining bar sitters, sports fans and reality tv watchers who don’t bother to get off their ass and do something about the causes that they claim matter to them. But I don’t connect with them in ways that either of us cares about.