Exposing oneself on public transportation, attitudes towards sex and gender inequality

has recently made several posts on the topic of this lady who took a pic of a guy who started whacking himself off at her on public transit and posted it in hopes that he’s brought to ‘justice’. My feelings are mixed. I’m not in favor of exposing oneself in public without the consent of any immediately impacted parties. Such consent can be implied. For instance, I don’t need to say I’m okay with seeing public spankings of bare butts if I go to the Folsom Street Fair. My attendance implies that I’m cool with it.

Also, I think that our society is way too uptight about sex. Graphic decapitations are perfectly fine to show to your kids, but graphic orgasms are not. I think our society already overreacts to innappropriate sexual behavior. E.g., you don’t have a right to know if a convicted and released murderer lives on your block, but in many places you do have the right to know if a flasher lives on your block.

And it highlights the same sort of mentality that “porn/prostitution degrades women” and well, what about men? I remember a female grabbing my ass by surprise in high school (once and only once). That was ‘funny’. Had I, or perhaps, a hetero male, done the same thing to a woman, I suspect there would have been hell to pay.

In my ideal world, the woman in question would have loudly and exhasperatedly said something biting and derisive of the man’s apparent inability to get laid and inadequate genitalia and he would have been mortified. Needless to say, we do not live in my ideal world.

8 thoughts on “Exposing oneself on public transportation, attitudes towards sex and gender inequality”

  1. i suspect that people are generally good enough judges of their “victim”s’ personalities to not pick someone who will do yell at them….

    though i’m sure it happens sometimes.

    1. you’re right, people looking for someone to harass choose victims who aren’t going to fight back.

      I’ve taken numerous self defense courses and every single one emphasised how to carry yourself when in a potentially dangerous situation. Stand up straight, don’t slouch. Look the person following/harrassing you in the eye, even if you have to turn around to do it. Stare him down if you can. Verbally confront them if they don’t back down. A cold “can I help you with something” was recommended. It takes balls and practice but it does work in scaring off the freaks.

      1. though, on the other hand, some people are often _looking_ for confrontation as well…

        so i guess the victim also needs to be a good judge of character 🙂

  2. If some dude flashed me in public (outside of a ‘castro halloween’ context) I’d totally consider it fair game to spread his pic on the internet, were it not for the whole “flashers have to register as sex offenders” deal.

    If some girl flashed me in public and I took a picture, I would probably keep the picture for myself. Most likely though, I’d avoid taking any pictures so as not to discourage such behavior in the future.

  3. When you have kids, someone wanking in public takes on a whole new level of squick.

    Now, I’d much rather my kid see nudity than violence, but I get a sitter if I plan to go to the Folsom Street Fair. My kid seeing a naked grown-up in the context of a clothing-optional beach is one thing. Wanking on the subway is another.

    If he wanted his privacy respected he should have kept it zipped. If he gets off on exposing himself, I’m sure he can find all sorts of kink venues that would welcome that.

  4. Sorry, but I’d probably have splashed his photo all over the internet with derisive comments, after pointing and giggling at the time. But you knew that. (I don’t know that I’d have called for him to be “brought to justice”, though – I’d just make sure that the next time someone he might want to impress met him, they’d have a picture of him masturbating on public transit in their head.)

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