relationships, [in]fidelity & marriage

Reading through the old entries of a recent subscription, I noted alot of stuff about relationships, fidelity, and marriage, and I decided to devote an entry to the cause. But, then I realized that I have absolutely nothing to say that I haven’t said a hundred times before. Every relationship is unique and deserves unique treatment. Monogamy is a cultural fixation, and neither inherently healthy, nor the only possibly healthy arrangement. Polyamory is another strategy for managing jealousy, among other things, and it doesn’t always work, and it does increase the risk of exposure to various std’s. People are more important than principles, though principles may help us see effects on people we might otherwise overlook. As my distinguished colleague pointed out, there’s more than one way to be a jerk in a relationship, and a failure to do wrong in a relationship is a damnation by faint praise. Relationships are organisms unto themselves. Some are just born non-viable. All require care and feeding.

Marriage shouldn’t really be the business of the state. Co-parenting should be a legally recognized state that I could enter into with my best friend, sister or grandmother, if we so chose, with no expectation of sexual anything attached, regardless of the relation or lack thereof between the parties. Coresidence likewise, to encourage the efficiency and conservation benefits of cohabitation. A joint application for those wishing legal recognition of their traditional relationship would be fine. People should not be held responsible without power to make a decision. Ie, a father should not be held accountable for a child’s care and financial well-being if he is divested, or if he divests himself, of any and all say in the child’s life, likewise for a mother. On that theme, if people can’t vote then they shouldn’t count for purposes of representation (if you don’t let felons vote, they shouldn’t count towards your allotment of congresspeople and electors), but really, felons should have the right to vote.

I kinda suck at relationships. The list of reasons behind this is long and something I’d prefer not to get into at the moment. I’ll save that for another post. This was nothing like what I intended to write when I first made this post. Heh.