In the spirit of being un-blackmail-able by keeping no embarrassment secret:
A few weeks ago, I noticed something in the shower while cleaning my pucker. It’s probably been there for a little while longer, but the forces of denial are strong. It’s hard to get a clear view of one’s own asshole, but once I did, it became pretty clear to me that I have anal warts, mostly on the inside. At a physical today (inspired by my own observation), the doc shared my assessment.
I already knew I had at least one strain of the virus (the various strains tend to stick to similar locations, as I understand it), like alot of people, on my feet, and on one of my fingers. But I can’t say I’m pleased with this new development. Not by a long shot. Getting rid of the actual warts isn’t pleasant or quick, generally speaking, but that’s not my main concern.
While the warts can be removed, the virus can’t, true of many of the most persistent and widespread stds (warts, herpes, and hiv, in particular). I am determined not to be typhoid scu. If you haven’t noticed, I am extraordinarily averse to deliberately or negligently causing harm. Rationally, I know that this one only puts my ass off limits, which, to be honest, has never been involved in my favorite sexual activities, but I can’t help feeling that this brings an end to my sex life.
Welcome to the leper colony, please hand over your dick, you won’t be needing that anymore. It’s a phase one goes through with std’s. The first time I got crabs, my initial reaction was much more extreme. Of course, unlike crabs, this one will be sticking around. Wait a year or two before prodding me on this topic. It’ll be a sore topic (literally and figuratively) for quite some time to come, I imagine. Rationally, I know better than to believe my dick will be indefinitely detained in dry dock, but reason isn’t always the loudest voice in my head.
When he said “stay healthy”, on his way out the door, my quiet, sardonic snort expressed my feelings pretty well. “Other than that, Mrs Lincoln, how was the play?”
Then again, as I reviewed my medical history, in telling it to him: heart disease and diabetes are a plague on my dad’s side, something I will very likely escape in good form courtesy veganism, my pedestrian lifestyle, and my hyperactivity. And my various athletic/weightlifting accidents (near-hernia, damaged left shoulder, 80% functional rotator cuffs, IT Band troubles, etc) actually trouble me very little. I am pretty fortunate. It could be alot worse.
So when he said “other than that, you’re pretty healthy”, I really do have some things to be thankful for.
And unsurprisingly, still HIV negative. Same day tests rock.
heart disease and diabetes are a plague on my dad’s side, something I will very likely escape in good form courtesy veganism
You may be right. There are a lot of vegetarian diabetics on my mailing list, but I don’t think there are any vegans.
Ok, now I have to find out….
scholar.google.com suggests that I’m on target. Like the first three studies cited support the claim, normalized for physical activity etc. I didn’t actually look at anything beyond the abstracts, though.
I completely sympathize. Congrats on the HIV test, though. Nice to have a bright side, after all.
I don’t know how relevant it is to you, but when I found out that I have HIV, I decided to be as up front as possible with men who wanted to have sex with me, in as neutral a situation as could be managed. If he asks me to go home with him from a party, I tell him right there. The emotional stakes aren’t as high for either of us. If he declines, I’d like to think it won’t hurt, although nobody has decided not to go ahead yet, which has been surprising.
You may be surprised, too.
I already knew I had at least one strain of the virus (the various strains tend to stick to similar locations, as I understand it), like alot of people, on my feet, and on one of my fingers. But I can’t say I’m pleased with this new development. Not by a long shot. Getting rid of the actual warts isn’t pleasant or quick, generally speaking, but that’s not my main concern.
While the warts can be removed, the virus can’t, true of many of the most persistent and widespread stds (warts, herpes, and hiv, in particular). I
you might want to research this further – i’ve found conflicting evidence – at least for the first paragraph..
like herpes – where cold sores don’t ever transfer to genitals.
Herpes type 1 is found on the genitals, and herpes type 2 is found in the area of the mouth. This is not as frequent as the other way around, but it happens. I suggest a quick search on scholar.google.com if that will help alleviate your doubts. It was a tidbit I picked up during my training to be an std medic. HPV is supposed to be more localized, but not totally.
yeah, that’s pretty much in keeping with what i understood… but do you think that they are all the same strain of HPV on you?
Nope. Foot and hand, maybe. Butt, almost certainly a different strain.
Hm. I guess I’m curious if this affliction qualifies for the tattooing you mentioned, or if a certain level of lethality is required to justify such a permanent marking…
The latter
There are a couple of factors making me think this isn’t as serious a concern as HIV. One, it’s a skin to skin thing. As long as people stay out of my ass, they won’t get hurt, and I will let them know that up front. But, my blood and semen are no risk for HPV. Further, the seriousness of the consequences are much less dire. If the biohazard hadn’t already taken on the HIV meaning with pretty significant social backing, I might do it. But I prefer not to muddy the waters on the more serious threat.