Category: Uncategorized

in some ways, training was a repetition of high school. Like the way in which I was hermione granger, with my hand perpetually in the air. Though the motivation may be a bit different. I’m not sure whether I was trying to stay awake back then, but I’m pretty sure I had no illusions that I would speed things up.

Back in Chicago, that is. Training is over. I’m feeling somewhat better. I spent an hour on an elliptical aerobics thing at the on site gym at their office (it’s a pretty meager gym, but the location was almost ideal) on wednesday. On tuesday, I went out for a happy hour, followed by a long (expensive!) Indian dinner with most of my chicago cohort and 2 ladies from Dallas. It was a good time.

Yay for social time.

Something’s been bugging me lately. I puzzled it out on the flight over. I spend almost 40% of my waking time at work (over 40, with commuting; 40/112, for the “standard” 40 hour work week). And I have iffy social connections at work. But if I’m going to spend that much time there, I need to connect with my coworkers. Because until and unless I start spending all my time hanging with the people I live with, there is no one I’ll be seeing more of.

“flattened affect” is a psych term, and it’s a side effect of several anti-depressants, if I’m not mistaken. I believe it means basically that your emotions go dead. (please correct me if I got anything significantly wrong there)

I’ve been feeling a little emotionally dead. I ask myself what I want to do, and it’s like I’m sulky teenager, hands shoved in my pockets, looking down, kicking a rock, saying “nuttin'”. At least, within the realm of the reasonably possible. It’s rather frustrating. I think it’s arisen in part from swallowing my frustration over various things, including my available free time and social things, and …

Yeah, maybe I just need to bitch more. =)

FFX is done. Long live the distraction.

I’m in Midway waiting on my delayed flight to denver.

So many topics I meant to write about but never got around to. I figure I’ll find the time this week.

There are worse things to be said about business travel.

It got to the point where things were getting tedious. I killed the final boss with one staff hit from Yuna, one of the casters of the party (but the one I’d focused on leveling). Enh.

Didn’t do everything, but the stuff I didn’t do was mostly really tedious.

One set of clear objectives out the window…

A man without social ties is no more free than a man without a spinal cord.

Life is an empty, sucking void, swallowing all attempts at meaning and happiness.

Rewind.

I’m feeling a little down lately. I feel like I backslid at the gym over thanksgiving break, probably because I did. My diet still sucks.

Work has gone from too slow to too fast, with no increase in my sense of meaningful accomplishment. (My supervisor told me to to print multiple years’ 100+ page brochures to put in the evidentiary file to back up a claim that we gathered data from a source with features x, y, z.) I’m willing to bet my entire net worth (conveniently negative at the moment) that no one who has not heard of this bet will glance at even a third of those pages I printed out. Ever. That’s up there with printing out webpages so that they can see what the website used to look like. Archive the data, mother fuckers, check it out in a browser. If the power goes out, no one will care what the website looked like anyway.

I talked with someone from the center for neighborhood technology on tuesday evening. The opportunity would involve a major cut in pay and a major extension in hours. I might be up for one or the other. I am so not up to both. Yeah, I’d get paid to pursue my environmental interests, going to conferences, etc. But the price is to high, for whatever that is worth.

And on another front, I’ve been trying to encourage the organizers of green drinks to set up a system for getting people more substantively involved for months. We had a plan to make plans to meet up on sunday to discuss possibilites. They cancelled, and said that the organization wasn’t really ready for it. 6 years and they think their setup isn’t ready. Whatever.

Love life and social life in chicago still basically at square one. Weekdays I gots no time. Weekends I gots no plans. Bleh. At least I have gaming this weekend and a date tomorrow. With an MLS student. Hmmm… =)

Events on tuesday evening have led me to give up on pursuing the alternate position. I’m trying not to view it as a personal failure. But it still feels a bit like I’m giving up on a dream due to a lack of dedication and a lack of fiscal independence. It’s more complicated than that, though. Sadly, the details will have to wait, ‘cuz I have to go to work.

Thanksgiving was good. And I have renewed inspiration to find a spanish class. I have found many potential gaming companions. I ordered fancy vegan shoes, but they’re too big, and now my question is whether to return them for a half size or a full size smaller. I got in to work early yesterday, but will not do so today. =)

I’ve been thinking about my eating, and my need to adjust it. Bigger breakfasts, more cooking at home. I need to learn to make a decent tofu scramble. But variety would also be nice.

I went from 6 days out of 8 making it to the gym to 0 out of 7. My excuses are lame and will not control the expansion of my waist.

Seems my dad is shipping off to Balad, not Kuwait. Little last minute surprise.

Midpoint (2/3 point, more like) work review was “We love you, though your writing is an area to work on.”

I’m having dangerous (to my budget) thoughts about a video iPod. I could watch TV on my commute, and thereby keep Heroes from cutting into my ffx time. Or something. More accurately, it would give me something more entertaining than sudoku to do on the ride. Reading is good too.

I now have leads on many gaming interested people. Mostly in the lincoln park/lakeview area. Further push in the direction of moving.