Category: Uncategorized

two thoughts

Pardon me whilst I enter preachy and verbose mode.

I have a friend who never fails to help me keep attractiveness in perspective. How? He likes fat, really fat, hairy guys. All attempts to rationalize a compromise between this and the norm have failed. He’s different, he doesn’t find gym bunnies at all attractive, and never has. Why do I think this is so cool? He’s a living example of the complexity of sexual attraction. It isn’t a linear scale of hotness. It’s all about what turns one person on. And as we grow and change, our desires grow and change.

When I was a closeted kid in high school, we went on a trip to Stratford Ontario, to see some Shakespeare. At the hotel, we got totally out of control (the chaperones didn’t chaperone). There was another set of students there from some Canadian high school. At some point in the evening, there was a girl, and I was using all my charm and persuasive ability to get her to come in to my hotel room, never expecting her to do so. She did, it felt all wrong, I semi-ignored her, and she left in short order (I still feel a little bad about it). When I have succeeded with the poster children of modern day, gay-culture-fetishized attractiveness (not often, but it’s happened), I sometimes feel a little like that dorky kid in hs who wanted to prove I was attractive by attracting someone that was _supposed_ to be attractive to me into his hotel room. My point being, are gym bunnies really what do it for you?

The second thought relates to a point regarding body image read in “Eat More, Weigh Less”. Don’t let the title fool you, though the majority of its pages are devoted to low-caloric-density recipies, it’s about alot more than food. Think not of how your body looks. Think of how your body works. Can you climb trees? Swim? Defend yourself or others? Run fast? Take stairs 2 at a time? Turn cartwheels? Hit what you aim at? Dance? Fit through narrow openings? etc. The idea is to think of what you can do, instead of how you look. And furthermore, what you can do is something that you can more easily improve, no matter what your level of ability, than how you look. This positivism inspires confidence and self-worth, which, as a side note, probably does more to improve attractiveness than hours at the gym.

Graduation Day

Woke up, stayed in bed for awhile <whistle innocently> biked down to campus. Witnessed the commencement ceremony (avoiding Tom Ridge, to the extent possible), and the scs diploma ceremony, ate all sorts of bad food. Wished Aaron farewell by introducing him to Udipi (they’re now serving their [excellent] food on plastic and metal rather than styrofoam. I was shocked. At least the spoons, forks, and knives ares still plastic.) Made arrangements for a party next weekend.

Still having the early summer blues, as several of my undergrad friends flee to the far corners of the map, some not to return.

Will be working on mood enhancement through exercise and good eatin’ over the upcoming week.

Date

So, I had an extended dance remix first date/double date with an interesting guy. Met him because he seemed like fun, right after work, intending to just chat. Instead I spent the entire evening with him and some friends of his. Second date planned for tomorrow. <cross fingers> Here’s hoping. He’s a swell guy, and lots of fun to talk to, though he was clearly nervous, and overwhelmed. We probably went a little fast. Maybe should slow down, see if that helps him regain equilibrium.

We shall see.

In other news, this is Ken’s last day in town til August, and Aaron is imminently leaving Pittsburgh for the foreseeable future. Much sadness.

Work History

I’ve been a slacker for years. I’ve hopped alot of jobs. Mostly computer stuff that I didn’t really care about. Now I have a bachelor’s in a field I don’t really want to work in. I think I know the sort of stuff I want to be doing, but the comparatively few places that are hiring such can afford to hold out for a relevant graduate degree. And I didn’t get into grad school.

Bleh.

My current job is the most satisfying work I’ve had in a long time. I feel more productive than I ever have. And both of those are kinda sad statements given how I feel about my work.

I’m not going to end up truly happy with my work any time soon by incremental hill climbing. I need to take a leap somewhere. I just wish I didn’t have to spend so long building up speed for the jump.

The challenge is turning this from killing time to a real growth experience. I feel like my work ethic is stronger than its ever been. I guess my next major hurdle is actively integrating into the web of workplace communication. Hmmmmm.

Oh well. Bed time.