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I am such a sucker for a good cause and a pretty face. It’s a really good cause, and he did have a very pretty face.

Well, it seems that pods is now ending in mid-march. Ro has agreed to pay me until the end of march even so. Frankly, I’m relieved. This job has had benefits and detriments. It’s the longest running job I’ve had, and certainly my closest relationship with an employer. I had fun exercising some of the dusty math corners of my brain, and learning new stuff to do it.

The programming made me sad at times. The loneliness of the workplace also not so good. And I definitely won’t miss working for the military.

The last couple of weeks on Ro’s dime, I’ll be doing exercise bike stuff. So yay on that. And after that, unemployment may be possible. It won’t be what I was making, and thus way insufficient to afford my life, but it’d be something, which is always better than nothing.

At this point, I’m thinking grad school is my best option. Let’s just hope I make it in.

Well, why not go with what’s really on my mind. So, let’s start with the perfectly reasonable assumption that how I conducted myself within the limits of being me probably had very little to do with his non-attraction. That sets the stage for something that isn’t going to work out romantically. Which is disappointing, but probably not such a big deal once I get past the next week or two.

In examining the “Did I fuck up and if so how?” that I always do, I’m finding the answer to be ‘no, but…’

A tinfoil hat theory, that strikes me as basically reasonable. Yeah, the deliberate collusion element is far fetched. And there is the fact that alot of what the media presents it does for the ratings, rather than to mastermind the political process. But, I do find some notions worth examining there.

http://www.blackcommentator.com/75/75_cover_dean_media.html

I hurt my wrist. Well, sorta my wrist. Right hand, middle of the back of the hand down to the wrist. It’s not really a big deal, unless I do a hand stand, or a cartwheel, or something like that. Sadly, that is a major part of my existing gymnastics repertoire. And I certainly haven’t mastered the hand stand. (though I’m getting pretty good at rolling out of one when I overrotate).

Sounds like fun. I’m applying.

In other news, I now have a level 30 paladin on the western us realms, my little avenger finally has conviction. Useful for helping those strong in elemental-tastic destruction. Now I just need someone to play with.

work frustations and linear algebra

So, Shannon has convinced me to join her at a Teach for America presentation thing tomorrow. My first line of defense, “they don’t pay enough”, turned out to be not quite true. It’s not a luxury salary, certainly, but it’s a good cause, and enough money to get me wholly out of debt with some left over at the end of a two year stint. It’d look good on grad school apps. If they don’t place me in one of three areas I’d be willing to work, I can give them the finger. I’m looking in to it. As per usual with me, no guarantees.

I think my little crush is now a little more in perspective. I can only stay off balance for so long, I guess. The crush is definitely still there, and I hope it goes well, but I’m not as obsessive about it now. Finding work and/or getting into grad school is more important to me at present.

Grrr. So, when asked for a summary of my gre scores, I sent in the percentiles from when I took the test. Apparently, the score reports send out the current percentile for your score at the time. So, my 98th percentile (perfect) math score is now 92nd. 99th verbal now 98th, and 89th analytical now 79th. (how they figure that one given that they are no longer offering the analytical section I’d love to know.) I just hope the percentile inconsistency doesn’t make me look like I’m trying to inflate my performance. Stupid.

So, post dinner with Luke, Chad, and Ro I was on my way to Raleigh’s for the dean meetup/berkeley students for dean meeting which was on Chad’s way home, and we were talking about dean and liberals in general. And specifically how liberals tend to be less coherent than conservatives. And further, how this is completely logical given that, using the original meanings of the words, conservatives wish to maintain the status quo, while liberals wish to change it. Maintaining something is a singular goal. Change does not, however, specify what sort of change one desires, and hence, the lack of uniformity in those desiring change. Even agreement on the goals doesn’t imply agreement in methodology.

Ro put an interesting spin on it at work today. He suggested the conservative motivation was love and the liberal motivation was hate … for the status quo. And that love is inherently more unifying than hate.

It’s a sign of how liberal I am that it is difficult for me to conceive of love for the status quo. But the notion does reframe things in a very different perspective. (not that it changes my politics in the slightest, just my attitude. More like ‘poor lost little doves’ rather than ‘selfish raging assholes’).