Category: Uncategorized

Reading through the old entries of a recent subscription, I noted alot of stuff about relationships, fidelity, and marriage, and I decided to devote an entry to the cause. But, then I realized that I have absolutely nothing to say that I haven’t said a hundred times before. Every relationship is unique and deserves unique treatment. Monogamy is a cultural fixation, and neither inherently healthy, nor the only possibly healthy arrangement. Polyamory is another strategy for managing jealousy, among other things, and it doesn’t always work, and it does increase the risk of exposure to various std’s. People are more important than principles, though principles may help us see effects on people we might otherwise overlook. As my distinguished colleague pointed out, there’s more than one way to be a jerk in a relationship, and a failure to do wrong in a relationship is a damnation by faint praise. Relationships are organisms unto themselves. Some are just born non-viable. All require care and feeding.

Marriage shouldn’t really be the business of the state. Co-parenting should be a legally recognized state that I could enter into with my best friend, sister or grandmother, if we so chose, with no expectation of sexual anything attached, regardless of the relation or lack thereof between the parties. Coresidence likewise, to encourage the efficiency and conservation benefits of cohabitation. A joint application for those wishing legal recognition of their traditional relationship would be fine. People should not be held responsible without power to make a decision. Ie, a father should not be held accountable for a child’s care and financial well-being if he is divested, or if he divests himself, of any and all say in the child’s life, likewise for a mother. On that theme, if people can’t vote then they shouldn’t count for purposes of representation (if you don’t let felons vote, they shouldn’t count towards your allotment of congresspeople and electors), but really, felons should have the right to vote.

I kinda suck at relationships. The list of reasons behind this is long and something I’d prefer not to get into at the moment. I’ll save that for another post. This was nothing like what I intended to write when I first made this post. Heh.

Well, my transportation & land use paper plan relies on data from the 1980 census for pittsburgh. Apparently, this can be had at the info desk of the Hillman library at Pitt on CD or on microfiche here. Given that it fits on one CD at hillman, I have to suspect it’s in some sort of spreadsheet or database format already. I’d kill to get my hands on that. I’m betting I won’t get the chance. So, I’ll get to spend hours with a microfiche reader this weekend gathering data for my research paper. Let me tell you how thrilled I am about that.

And just in case you’ve forgotten, Terri Schiavo, drilling in ANWR? Distractions. I say ANWR is a distraction because nobody really wants to drill up there anyway. I doubt it’s profitable, given the opportunity cost, and the total oil capacity of the place wouldn’t begin to cover US consumption for a year. It’s a distraction from social security; it’s a distraction from congressional embarrassment. Keeping us focused on the unimportant things. Call me a media conspiracy lunatic if you want. Just don’t come bitching to me when our parents are begging on the street.

All hail the new feudalism.

I will be going to spring carnival this year, courtesy the Foundation’s generous Booty Shaker Scholarship. Alas, my philanthropic benefactor has said he will not be joining in the festivities.

Flight: Northwest Airlines 1056

Depart: Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport, April 14 6:58 PM CDT

Arrive: Pittsburgh – Greater Pittsburgh International, April 14 9:59 PM EDT

Flight: Northwest Airlines 3489 (Operated by: MESABA AVIATION JET SERV/NW AIRLINK)

Depart: Pittsburgh – Greater Pittsburgh International, April 18 12:16 PM EDT

Arrive: Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport, April 18 1:38 PM CDT

Since opining on this case seems to be in vogue. Allow me to share my comments from a post in ‘s journal on the Terri Schiavo events.

here there be opinions

I’m posting this in part as an introduction to some language that’s been rattling around in my head. I think it’s a useful distinction to make. I’ll be using it later. I probably wouldn’t have lost anyone, but it never hurts to be sure.

Watching Constantine a couple weekends ago, right before mid-semester craziness, I was forcibly reminded of one of my big criticisms of religion, or at least of the christian religion. So, in the catholic doctrine, suicide is an instant ticket to hell. Probably in alot of other judeochristian sects as well, but I’m only talking about the one I know well.

And, in fact, the catholic doctrine seems to be full of non-refundable tickets to hell. The 10 commandments are mostly about things one shouldn’t be doing, “thou shalt not” being the order of the day. Other than “honor thy father and thy mother” and “keep holy the sabbath” it’s all about bad stuff. 80% about avoidance. See also, I think it’s Leviticus, in general. No mixed fabrics, no seeding the kid in the milk of the mother or whatever. All sorts of thou shalt nots.

Interestingly, the stuff Jesus says in the gospels is more about how to respond to things, and treat people. Love your enemies, do good to those who hurt you. Turn the other cheek. Love your neighbor. He was actually a pretty damn bossy guy.

But there’s a distinct tonal constrast here. The first set is all about not doing, or what I’d call abstinent virtue. The second set is about appropriate responses, or what I’ll call reactive virtue. The final set is about moral imperatives, actions that one is supposed to take, which I’ll call active virtue. My dad actually wrote a paper in his seminarian days where he talked about the “thou shalt not” of the old testament v “the thou shalt” of the new testament. He says that he was writing something to the effect of “It is time to cast off the old testament morality of ‘thou shalt not’ and embrace the new testament morality of ‘thou shalt'”, and right at that moment an earthquake struck southern illinois, to which he reacted by running outside yelling apologies and repentence. =)

Humor value aside, I think he was really onto something there.

Applying this perspective to myself, I see myself as highest on abstinent virtues. Not so high as I used to be, but no murder, no worshipping false gods (I don’t worship real gods either, but that’s okay), nearly straight edge, vegan, low oil consumption, etc, etc. Sex is another story, but even there I’m pretty careful about what I do, and who I do it with. Clearly not careful enough, but so it goes.

In terms of reactive virtues, I mostly worry about overreaction (arguably avoiding overreaction is an abstinent virtue, but we’ll leave that aside for the moment). Eg, responding to verbal taunts with physical violence, etc, etc. And on that front, I’ll give myself a pretty good ranking as well. In terms of reactive virtue there’s also consoling the hurt, guiding the lost, helping little old ladies across the street, tutoring the calculus clueless, blah, blah, blah. Once again, I do pretty well there.

Then we get into what I like to call true active virtues, or generally taking the initiative to do good things. Calling one’s parents. Studying independently. Working on a problem without being told to. Entrepreneurial virtue. Creating value in the world. This is undoubtedly my weak point. Working out, hell, working in general, be it for money or self-improvement is not a strong suit. Selectively, but enthusiastically, responsive passivity is a major part of my character in terms of meaningful activity. I make few decisions. But I have all these goals. Hmmmm. Problem.

The further one goes in life, the less it seems to be about doing what others tell you, and the more it seems to be about not just figuring out what to do, but then going out & doing it. I could cite reasons why I’m the way I am until I’m blue in the face. Generally getting smacked down for taking the initiative, or receiving little reward for doing so, particularly in childhood. But where does that get me? Unless I use that idea as inspiration for a way to encourage myself to develop some more active virtues.

Discuss. =)

My recent plane trips have give me the opportunity to read some of what has been recommended to me by and .

graphic novels: top 10 & Y

I had a great night at and ‘s. I played repeated rounds of 10 days in Africa, including two consecutive, excessively quick wins. Some bizarre uno variant that spits cards at you, a few games of tongiaki (I barely eked out a win on my last game. I had booted everyone else from Tonga, and made it difficult to come back. And my last move started with a massive out migration from the motherland which resulted in the removal of many of these smaller tribes from a particular wing of our little archipelago. Prior to that, I was pretty sure I’d lost, but the little diaspora saved my butt. =) Those guys picked that one up fast. Good food, great company. Yay. =)

Well, at least if I do not get the job, I’ll be dealing with DC cabbies on a much less frequent basis. =)

yesterday’s cabby experience

I always feel bad after interviews, but I have a couple reasons here. No experience with giving interviews (well, oops, I do actually have such experience), minor point, or so I thought. Then there was the “what do you hope to learn from any hypothetical internship” which I apparently took as a “reconstruct a history of your writing anxiety for us”. Why am I so stupid? He asked me how my search for other opportunities were going. (ouch) In the thank you note, I added the information on the interview experience, and a couple writing samples. (Offering protestations that I was too hard on myself seemed completely retarded, besides, they didn’t have any real writing samples. Let them judge for themselves if I’m too fucking self-effacing). Le sigh.

I need to look into other opportunities, starting pre-surgery. Bleh!