Author: cheerfulchaotic

I knew I’d do it.

Writing a big long list, typing in urls that would be of use to me, and closing the windows containing the urls, then what do I do? I close the window I’m writing the list in. But I can reconstruct, because I’m just that good =)

So, gay.com isn’t a totally useless sinkhole. Chatting with guys on there today yielded many jobfinding/apartment hunting links. On top of the universally recommended craigslist, I got bayinsider, bayareahelpwanted, the management center, and their publication, opportunityknocks, and finally Bach Personnel, the only specifically gay employment agency I’ve ever heard of =)

I was also pointed towards planetout and the sf bay times (local gay paper) for personals geared more towards dating than a quick fuck.

And last, but not least, for my link collecting joy, nlanza pointed me towards these beauties of political dissent (in another medium)

Warcraft III, my teeth, spanish, and SF

The nightelves are too cool to suck as much as they do, but alas, they do suck. <pout>

I’m all filled in. It was kinda weird seeing in on camera. Only a little novacaine was used, for one of the four teeth.

I’m not screwed in spanish, I can catch up.

Tom’s going to come out to sf (albeit more temporarily) the day after I do. Yay Tom (aka tardis.

I’ve priced and taken digiphotos of all my stuff I mean to sell, and will soon construct a webpage with dimensions and prices, though most of it has already been semiclaimed by someone. I’ll deal with excess books later.

Today

So, whoa.

Got up late, after wcIII-ing until 4am. Into work, satisfactory status meeting, heard back from my awkward snailmail to Scott Treleaven via email, sent him a loooong reply, mostly about defining what it means to be punk, which all sorta flowed. He should be sending out my copy of the video on friday or so. No idea how long it’ll take to get here. Hopefully before I leave, if not, it’s going to tardis anyway, so he can bounce it along to me, after watching it or whatever. =)

Now off to spanish (after having skipped like 2 or 3 classes)

Whee.

Boredom and Passivity

I had a dream this morning. The first part of it was my standard ‘you are not included’ nightmare. But I remember at the end it had morphed into something else. And the phrase “Boredom is the frustrated desire to be doing something [often something particular]” flowed along. I thought this was such a tremendously meaningful statement that I woke up so I could remember it. In the light of consciousness, it doesn’t seem quite as profound, though still worthy of note.

Most particularly, boredom, like anger, seems to naturally result in a vicious cycle, though with boredom, the commonplace complement is passivity. Instead of rooting out the cause of the boredom, what it is we want to be doing, we are likely to turn to our automatic medium of choice (in my case, the tall & wide Ikea Billy full of sci-fi _right_ next to my bed and the net.). TV is popular, but I’m down on that, so whatever. The point of it is that, like eating, these are reactions that don’t really address the underlying cause. Figure out what you want to do and do it. Or try something, and see if that does it. Waiting is a poor response to boredom in most circumstances.

Spinning the wheel of blame, I come up with the educational system. Wait in line, wait til you’re called on, answer these standarized questions, read these standardized stories, fit yourself into this shape distinctly not based on you or your interests, who gives a fuck what you want? An environment based on the imperative voice. Doesn’t exactly encourage any search for introspective awareness of one’s own desires. Especially inappropriate for someone, like me, who has a more interrogative bent.