Internal Turmoil


“I did not design this game
I did not name the stakes
I just happen to like apples
And I am not afraid of snakes
I am truly sorry about all this
I envy you your ignorance
I hear that it’s bliss
So I let go the ratio
Of things said to things heard
As I leave you to your garden
and the beauty you preferred
And I wonder what of this
Will have meaning for you
When you’ve left it all behind
I guess I’ll even wonder
If you meant it
At the time”

-Ani DiFranco, Adam & Eve

Cashew Butter Cookies

1. 1 Tbs flax seed
2. 3 Tbs water
3. 3/4 cup cashew butter
4. 1/2 cup earth balance
5. 1 tsp vanilla
6. 1 cup dark brown pure cane sugar
7. 1 1/4 cups flour
8. 1/2 tsp salt
9. 1/2 tsp baking soda

Method

Blend flaxseed and water until it forms a frothy homogenous mixture. Beat together cashew butter, earth balance, flaxseed mixture and vanilla. In a separate bowl combine dry ingredients. Gradually add dry ingredients to cashew butter mixture until well combined. Roll in balls. Place on oil sheet, and flatten with fork. Bake at 375 f for 10 minutes.

Came out okay.

based on
http://www.infolanka.com/recipes/mess6/22.html

Teddy Roosevelt had his points

“Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official, save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country. In either event, it is unpatriotic not to tell the truth, whether about the president or anyone else”

– Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of the United States

Perhaps it is time to grow up

So, these tricks are occasionally fun & all, but I think my personality, and of late, my desires, are geared more towards the finding of someone I want to stick around. My mating habits will require a complete reworking, but I’m okay with that. In short, “What you need, Stephen, is a boyfriend”.

So, What I’m looking for:

  • Into, or at least curious about, but absolutely not overboard about or actively disdainful of stuff I’m into. such as…
    • Video, Strategy, and RolePlaying Games
    • Outdoors and Athleticy things (blading, swimming, soccer, weight training, hiking, camping, etc)
    • Cooking, or, better yet, eating my cooking and doing dishes 😉
    • Vegetarianism
    • Progressive Politics
    • All things computer
    • Social Science/Urban planning/Public Policy
  • Must be able to tolerate messiness and net addiction.
  • Should at least look like he performs some sort of athleticish activity on a semi-regular basis
  • Quiet, sensitive but not reluctant to share what he’s thinking and feeling
  • Somewhere near 28 years old (the closer the better, but I’m willing to bend significantly on this one)
  • Able to understand most of what I say without lengthy explanations/simplifications
  • Articulate
  • Adventurous
  • Interested in trying weird/new/different things
  • Thoughtful
  • Single & Out
  • Open to open relationships
  • Playful
  • etc.

Clearly I ought to be dating myself, but since that’s not an option, I’m looking for someone pretty similar.

vampire medic

Woohoo, I did my first blood draw on a client yesterday. It went fine, actually, even if his arms were weird. I couldn’t find the usual vein, so I took a rolly one off on the side instead, got it on the first stick. Go me. Did create a small mess by forgetting to take the tube off before I removed the needle, but it was only a few drops, which were quickly cleaned up. (I’ve been really nervous about this up until now. I’ve been having other medics draw for me).

Brave New World

I finally got around to reading ‘Brave New World’ by Huxley. I didn’t find the distopia so distopian. Nor does it seem hideously unrealistic.

It was a case of round pegs going into round holes, and square pegs going into square holes, and if the pegs and holes really don’t match, then they get shipped off to an island where they can build holes as they see fit. (okay, so that’s a horribly over-extended metaphor).

There are a few fundamental problems with their universe. The belief that intrinsic nature is nothing and with rigorous control over the environment (from zygote on), individuals can be remolded and standardized. The belief that given a sufficiently advanced society, there are no challenges from the world outside the sculpting of the social order and the people that compose it. I’m not saying it’s totally bogus, but it’s taken overboard (probably to illustrate a point, which it does quite effectively.)

And they did have a compelling reason to strictly regulate humanity. As the world had become overpopulated, catastrophe happened, billions died, people lived in misery and squallor, and cried out for order.

The keys to what make bnw not a nightmare to me is that it does not harm. Physical injury, sickness, torture, these are things that a citizen of their society does not know, and, in fact, fear is something that citizens’ lives are constructed to avoid. It’s comfortable, though not challenging.

Harmless and bland. I wouldn’t fit in their society. The attitude towards sex, while not for me, doesn’t bother me (very castro). Besides it’s blatant unrealism, the attitude towards family doesn’t bother me (I believe that the bonding to parent-figures is an almost undeniable propensity of human nature, without proof.)

And furthermore, their treatment of outsiders is generally top notch. If you realy don’t fit, we’ll send you off to an island full of others who don’t fit, and you can go it on your own, if that’s what you need. You pick the island.

It seems realistic in many ways to me. TV instead of hypnopaedia, anti-depressants/ecstacy for soma, therapy instead of VPS. Poor proxies, but there nonetheless.

The part of it that bothers me the most is that they don’t cause pain/unpleasantness to adults, but they certainly do to children and fetuses, as part of their sculpting plan.

Scatterbrained for a review, but those were my thoughts.

I prefer a society of challenges suited to the individual, and harmonious management of conflict, rather than the elimination of challenge or conflict. I think there would be few who would disagree with that, but enh, whatever.