Author: cheerfulchaotic

So, let’s see…

Yesterday …

… I found out that a close friend is probably moving away
… I had to write my performance review self-assessment
… I lost the previously planned company for this week’s long drive
… I found out that one of the two professors I’d really wanted to talk with at UCB died in April. (I had met him briefly before, and by all accounts he was a wonderful guy, which fit with my one experience)

there’s probably more, but here’s to non-shitty days. =)

Well, nuts. Sanity reasserted itself, and now I have a 6 hour drive each way with nothing but my iPod to keep me company. Probably for the best. But it’s gonna be booooring.

Work is paying to fly me out to dc, but they want me to take a 6am flight to be sure I’ll get there on time. For a noonish briefing. I would much rather fly in the night before mess with my sleep cycle less and not massively overwhelming the 10 hour max for time I can bill in a day. Would any kind soul be willing to lodge a wayward traveler next monday evening? (Ie july 7th)

Work is paying to fly me out to dc, but they want me to take a 6am flight to be sure I’ll get there on time. For a noonish briefing. I would much rather fly in the night before, mess with my sleep cycle less and not massively overwhelming the 10 hour max for time I can bill in a day. Would any kind soul be willing to lodge a wayward traveler next monday evening? (Ie july 7th)

A friend of mine made a “no comments allowed” post that offended my sensibilities. So, I’ll respond to it here, without identifying the post in question.

He wrote a response to this article on the growth of HIV infections rates in various demographic groups: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25398121/

In particular he took note of the very high rate of HIV transmission in young (13-24) gay men. He took this moment to criticize the gay “community” as politically unsaavy. He said education isn’t a problem, noted unprotected sex with strangers as the cause, and made an impassioned plea for people not to be brainless animals/goddamned whores.

I can understand and appreciate the frustration, even share it. But I think there are a few points to be made here. 1) The gay community is a myth, which makes me feel much of the passion is misdirected, 2) the report isn’t talking about self-identified gay men, but rather men who have sex with men (MSM) and 3) The study as reported could be improved by reporting the data in different groupings, which would clarify the message.

The gay “community” is a myth. At most we have a gay culture centered around hedonism, bars, and the ultimate expression (which I’m skipping this weekend for Origins) the pride parade. But there are other gay cultures as well. There’s the activist culture, which seeks to use the myth of gay community to some good ends. (for instance, persuading and helping people to have safer sex and campaigning for rights and social acceptance for all of us. HRC, PFLAG, and National Gay and Lesbian Task Force being some of the major organizations within this culture). There’s a gay athletic culture (frontrunners being one of the most successful organizations within this community). There are numerous different cultures into which we assimilate. And frequently they blur at the edges. The substantive majority of people who eventually adopt the gay culture as [one of] their own, are not raised by people from that culture. And so, they are even less uniform than the members of the cultures of ethnic minorities. And you don’t have to adopt or even accept the legitimacy of any of these gay cultures to have sex with men.

The report is discussing MSMs rather than self-identified gay men. A great many MSMs (including several who chat on gay.com) do not identify as gay, and certainly reject gay culture. So a clarion call based on unity with your gay brothers is going to fall on very deaf ears among many MSMs, particularly those who are married to women, and who are, I suspect, more likely to change partners frequently. Another point is one made parenthetically when the article notes that MSMs from ethnic minorities have higher HIV infection rates, and that point is that race forms significant cultural and social divisions among MSMs.

I can think of two ways the study as reported could be improved by changing their demographic groupings. The major way is to distinguish between 13-17 year olds (legal minors, typically living with their parents or guardians) and 18-24 year olds (legal adults, frequently living without immediate parental oversight). Regardless of how the HIV rate breakout unfolds in those two groups, the message is different for each group. For the 13-17 year olds, it’s a call to the parents to watch out for the kids. For the 18-24 year olds, it’s a warning to the young adults out there. Not to say that 13-17 year olds shouldn’t be thinking and watching out for themselves nor that parents shouldn’t try to take care of their 18-24 year old children, but the message for the two groups is quite different. The comparatively minor point is the race distinction. I’d like to know about household income or other class indicators compared to race and see how that plays into infection rates.

To reframe this whole critique in a political light: Parents are responsible for the behavior of their children, even the gay ones. HRC, NGLTF, and PFLAG are going to be alot less influential in the life of the young queer than the young queer’s parents will be. Even up to age 24. If this were an article about 36 year olds and high rates of HIV infection, I’d be telling a different story. But it’s not. I read this story a different way. I read it as a failure of parents, particularly parents of ethnic minorities[*], to raise and care for their children well.

And if there’s an impassioned plea to be made it is this: Parents, love your children, care for them, protect them, and teach them to love, care for, and protect themselves. Even the queer ones. Especially if you belong to a culture that doesn’t like queers, make sure your children know you will love them regardless of their sexuality, and that being queer doesn’t mean you’ll let them get away with a damn thing you wouldn’t let your straight children get away with.

disclaimer

Well, monday I was composing a draft of the one page summary of our union constitution, its importance, how it has been developed so far, and what the next steps were for it, on my sidekick on the train, emailing it to myself shortly before I got to the office.

Tuesday evening, I missed my weekly dinner to fly out to DC to sleep in a coworkers basement, so I could come in to HQ to work most of the day and present the constitution to the union governance, so we can present it to everyone else for feedback and input. Tonight I flew back home immediately afterwards, dealing with the usual zoo + delays that is O’hare. The things I do to fly out of National, without transfers.

Anyway.

We only made it about a third of the way through the constitution, got snagged on some interesting points. 1 hour and 15 minutes of discussion. I anticipate at least two more. I’ve been asked to fly back in for them. Ugh. I probably will, but ugh. This will not help me train for the triathlon.

And the main point of the triathlon is to motivate me to exercise regularly. Ha. Well, good luck with that.

At least I have Origins this weekend. Oh, and familial visitation next weekend. (Likely with compadre in tow). The week after that I’m supposed to go to DC anyway for work. But what about everything else I want to do with my life?

*whimper*

I forgot Mu on the list, feel free to add it via comment.

For less than the cost of shipping a bike, I’ll be picking one up from a shop around the corner from the triathlon itself. The bike should be much nicer and more suitable than my tool-around-town bike. Hopefully it will fit well, too.

Need to get a wetsuit, too. Wonder if I’ll look good in it. People usually do, imho. =)

Estimated water temp is 66F

I’m looking forward to Origins. Yay for giant dork fests. I’ll be in Columbus sometime on thursday afternoon/evening to sometime on sunday. Woo. =)