Category: Uncategorized

At work, I don’t use livejournal, because, well, it’s not appropriate, and the last thing I want showing up in the lists of urls I go to is my own blazingly partisan blog. Well, maybe gay porn would be worse. Straight porn would definitely be worse. But I’m digressing.

So, instead, I’ve started keeping up on current events from newssites directly, instead of relying on and others to pick the interesting bits for me. So, I’ll share the tastier fruits I’ve picked.

1. New York Times
   1. Doctors helped in the torture and interrogation of guantanamo bay prisoners
   2. A U.S. General says Iraqi insurgents are recruiting like crazy and haven’t significantly reduced in overall strength in congressional testimony
   3. Rumsfeld says that setting a time by which we’ll leave would help insurgents
2. The Economist
   1. World’s opinion of the U.S. in decline
   2. Religious Right has become a force to reckon with in US politics, and it won’t just go away
3. A book review I ran across on drug companies and tthe development of new drugs discovered while doing work related research. I won’t comment on it, because it’s work related, but I wanted to share it. I ought to share other articles to give a fuller perspective on the matter, but I’m lazy.
4. And finally, from an article on a politically oriented college for fundamentalist christians

Commentary:
1.1 Makes me sad. Doctors should not be involved in torture. Not that the hippocratic oath means much, but still.
1.2 It’s good to hear frank truth, even if unpleasant.
1.3 He’s probably right, but staying in there doesn’t seem to be slowing them down much.
2.2 United States religious extremists are a force to be reckoned with, and rational people aren’t as dedicated to keeping them where they belong, on the margin. The article is sadly accurate.
4. I found this article scary and sad at the same time.

I also hit the gym this evening. It’s murder when I haven’t been going, but so worth it.

Free trials are over, now I must choose between gyms:

gym decisions

Over the next three weeks, I expect to be spending 6 or 7 days in DC, attending the annual Drug Information Association conference (prescription and over the counter. Not even discussing medical marijuana from what I saw), meeting with AMA (American Medical Association), PhRMA (Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America), Public Citizen, FDA (Food and Drug Administration), and possibly Tufts’s CFDD (Center for Drug Development) and a harvard lecturer/former editor of the new england journal of medicine, sitting in on a congressional testimony by my supervisor’s supervisor, and briefly (very briefly) presenting my observations of it at a meeting of the top dogs in GAO. Also, I have found and made reservations at a bed & breakfast in dupont circle with wireless. All but about $10/night of it is covered by my lodging allowance.

Meanwhile my former stats partner and fellow intern, in the same office, on the same thematically related team, will be matching up the addresses of registered sex offenders and nursing homes, while working on a listing of medically oriented first responder training programs with someone in dallas.

I’ll have to remember that neither of us are getting what one might call a representative experience, though she’s probably closer.

Even so, I did have to do an hour of the most onerous, tedious task that GAO analysts do. Imagine reading a 30 page paper aloud, noting every capitalized letter, and every punctuation mark, to make sure that when someone transitioned from Word to PDF, reformatted, and edited for readability, they didn’t fuck anything up. We made it through about 7 pages. And , I have not been driven off. If that were all there was to the job, I’d be driven off. But I can take a little pain. It’s about 8 man hours / project shipped out the door. Most teams have 2-3 people on them. Most project last about 6 months to a year. So, being a little pessimistic, it’s one work day out of every year. I can handle that.

Regardless, my impending travel will almost certainly delay my much thought about, if not much planned bay area travel. Unless there is a conveniently timed e-saver. And even then, ugh.

I did decide to move up my departure from GAO date by a week. I’m serious about going to Europe. Now I just have to decide where….

“Gain an hour, lose an hour. This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.”

Pride this weekend.

Trip to DC for Drug Industry Association conference, m-w. Maybe trip to boston soon. Another trip to dc a couple of weeks after the conference.

Whee?

ciao

No notable difference from the outness at work. Of course, in an office where one of the top ranking people is a homebody homo, and at least one of the people a step down from him is a gym bunny homo, I think it may safely be said that I have little to worry about in terms of glass ceilings.

I went out to da burbs to game w/ & friends. His friends do seem pretty min-max-munchkin-tastic. One was unabashed in his boredom with roleplaying and his preference for rollplaying. The cute, slightly short, quiet, and pretty clearly het guy was good to look at, and seemed to use his brain for things other than code (at least, more so than the other new-to-me guy), though maybe I’m painting the picture I want to see on a blank canvas. *shrug*

I may play the bastard son of a merchant clan, with another clan’s magical birthmark, turned paladin. Now, to play a homo male, or my more typical (for me) asexual male character (asexual female is most common, followed by nympho female, followed by asexual male). I may also want to consider ways to insert conflict into the party. Rob’s ideas may be a bit over the top for me, but something to shake these guys into at least trying to roleplay their characters would be a bonus.

Drive back to say hi to . Much conversation on the way and there. Clarification of Jen’s girlscout sadness. Receipt of vegan girl scout cookies. A funky, dark sweet beer that involved plum and some other fruity thing. Sleep. Early morning train ride downtown. Buy a ticket at the station, lose the ticket, buy another one on the train, pay $2 penalty for not buying ticket in advance. Ugh. Back to work.

Ride back home on L. Try to nap. Fail. Chat with kid about to start freshman year of high school. Strange chat, kinda fun. I didn’t feel uncomfortable. I think I feel uncomfortable with the _idea_ of associating with youngish kids. With the possible stigma. *shrug*

Sleeeeep. So much to do, so much to say….

It started with the 20-40 people who got on the train where I did, who produced noise levels such that I could barely hear the L noises from inside the car. Those of you who’ve been to chicago know that this is truly a feat. For those of you who haven’t think a slightly-lower-volume-than-normal gay club. If neither of these mean anything to you, it was really fucking loud. And very irksome. By the time I was getting off the train I was thinking “If I could slit every one of your throats without consequence, I would”. I was cranky.

I got into a conversation with my mother the other day, discussing me and noise, and she said that I’ve always displayed aversion to loud noises. It puts an interesting perspective on me almost completely losing my temper on 2 2/3 years ago. It doesn’t say anything about the few similar events I can recall. Anyway.

Then there’s whoever the dude was that left his laundry to mildew in the washing machine. Meaning I had to put it in his basket. But he’d left it so long that he’d stunk up the washing machine as well. Bleh!

More positive spin on life later.

So, for years, I’ve been operating under don’t-ask-don’t-tell at work. And I’ve told plenty. I’ve manipulated social situations so that the straight people wouldn’t know I was hinting, but the gay people would.

So, the older, obviously homo dude in our office dropped the “partner” hint in front of me and my fellow health care intern a week ago. I tried to play off that, when we were talking to one another at an office social/food thing. One of us fumbled the pass, and he got huffy instead of the hint.

To clear this up, I asked if he and his partner would like to join me for the chicago gay men’s chorus pride concert this week, in email. I was also semi-serious. It’s lame going alone. And he seems like a pleasant guy.

Well, he has plans for pride weekend. But he referred me to another office person who was arranging plans for pride. This individual is encouraging me to be the spokesman for whatever office contingent we can gather together for the parade. Like, mail the office, telling them how to find the rest of us for parade spectation purposes. I’m a little reluctant, but I think it’s mostly because of entrenched habit. Broadcasting like that in my _professional_ life feels a little weird. Professional/personal separation. Not that it keeps others from discussing spouses and children. *shrug* I’m already remarkable for my veganism. I could be the most interesting intern they have for awhile. =) And my boss is at something of a loss for how to keep me busy. Yay for high productivity.

Oh, and 80% of interns get job offers. Sweet.

Another chicago diner meal. I will _not_ replicate my debt experience of years past. Some WoW time with

Then he buzzed my hair. It was getting long. I like the do. Nice & low maintenance. And took a pic. It’ll be good to have something remotely current.

That’s all. Beddybye.

I sweat the little stuff too much.

Saturday:

Gymnastics went better this time. I did manage to torque my shoulder a bit, but I was doing front handsprings, back handsprings (w/spotter), and some front tucks with fair degrees of success. It was kinda funny when flubbed a front tuck from the tumble track and went running off the mat (due to excessive momentum), dodging so that I went right between the ‘coach’ and the gymnast he was currently working with. No one was injured, but I was embarrassed

I met and showed him where the only gaming store in town that I know how to find easily is (without showering between). I purchased a copy of the eberron setting, and have ideas. ‘s idea was a “militantly gay paladin”. I may pursue this. Particularly a dragonmarked gay paladin. I did also find the idea of a warforged artificer intriguing. But we’ll see about that on tuesday.

and I went to the chicago diner after that. My first trip since april or something. I haven’t gone in no small part because the last time i was there, I left my number for a waiter again. Partially to minimize the chance of being recognized and remembered, and partially to deter myself from repeating what is becoming an unfortunate habit, I’ve held back. Well, that, and the place is flippin’ expensive. But I did discover tasty vegan stuffed mushrooms, and Robbie discovered the tasty vegan chocolate chip cookie dough milk shake. Maybe the food there doesn’t deserve as much abuse as I heap on it (even if it’s not worth the money they ask for it).

Briefly hung out with & roommates.

Went home. Played a little WoW. Participated in the backyard grilling with Mitch (the roomie) & the guys downstairs. Afterwards, they watched Night of the Living Dead or whatever it is. Between dinner and movie, Troy, the force for celibacy in the downstairs relationship, and a bush voter in november and I got into a polite, long-winded, and very odd political discussion.

Sunday:

I saw “Enron: The smartest guys in the room”. I left feeling not as informed as I’d hoped to, and not terribly entertained. It was a matinee, and I still felt ripped off. Why can’t all documentaries be like “The Corporation”?

Plans:

Back to a week of work tomorrow. Maybe line dancing on monday night, definitely suburban gaming experience on tuesday night. Probably gymnastics on thursday night. Supposed to work on arranging post or pre pride picnic things with coworker for next week. It’s odd to think this, but I’m not sure if he’s gay. I’m kinda suspecting he’s not. I think I’m going to buy tickets for the chorus show on saturday.

Also, as a frustrating sidenote, I may not be able to make it to ‘s wedding due to time and fiscal constraints. I plan on checking for esavers that week (this being chicago, that may actually get me somewhere). Otherwise, I will likely head down to southern illinois to visit the relatives that I flaked on over memorial day weekend. Heh.

Oh yeah, and at the end of the summer, I kinda want to go to europe. The places that caught my attention were Amsterdam and Copenhagen. My problem is that the only person I know from having met in person that I know is living in Europe lives in germany. And I haven’t talked to him in years. (he moved from chicago to germany as I was moving from chicago to pittsburgh). And my pure livejournal acquaintances (, , and ) in europe are not conveniently located. =) Plus, I’m thinking of squeezing this in to a time frame such that it wouldn’t really fit, unless I rescheduled my departure date from the gao to a week earlier. hmmmmm. I know I have a few classmates in geneva for the summer…

Movies I wanna see, in the order I’ll likely see them:

• Enron: the smartest guys in the room (seeing it tomorrow at the near-noon matinee)
• Howl’s moving castle
• Madagascar
• Batman Begins
• hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy

Additionally, on the “not currently out” list, i want to see

• fantastic 4
• the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe

Anyone want to join me on these expeditions? Suggestions of other possibilities also welcome.

There is a distinction between wanting to make a difference with your life and wanting to devote your life to a cause. I think I fall more into the latter category. In Bujold’s Curse of Chalion, at the end, a distinction is drawn between saints and others, in that saints offer themselves without reservation to the gods of that fictional world. Or the story of Ruth, “whither you go, I will follow”. It’s hard and yet not, to give up the idea of being pivotal, of being important of being a mover and a shaker. Reading a story by about his life gave me a bit of pause. I’m a militant, but sentimental agnostic. Militant: I don’t know, and neither do you. Sentimental: I think there is a definite value to belief and it is a beautiful thing, even if I don’t believe it is necessarily right.