Getting a word in edgewise
“Indian Summer” by Dorothy Parker
In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do:
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!
Thanks to jacquez, I think it was she who introduced me to this lovely little bit
So, I had an extended dance remix first date/double date with an interesting guy. Met him because he seemed like fun, right after work, intending to just chat. Instead I spent the entire evening with him and some friends of his. Second date planned for tomorrow. <cross fingers> Here’s hoping. He’s a swell guy, and lots of fun to talk to, though he was clearly nervous, and overwhelmed. We probably went a little fast. Maybe should slow down, see if that helps him regain equilibrium.
We shall see.
In other news, this is Ken’s last day in town til August, and Aaron is imminently leaving Pittsburgh for the foreseeable future. Much sadness.
I’ve been a slacker for years. I’ve hopped alot of jobs. Mostly computer stuff that I didn’t really care about. Now I have a bachelor’s in a field I don’t really want to work in. I think I know the sort of stuff I want to be doing, but the comparatively few places that are hiring such can afford to hold out for a relevant graduate degree. And I didn’t get into grad school.
Bleh.
My current job is the most satisfying work I’ve had in a long time. I feel more productive than I ever have. And both of those are kinda sad statements given how I feel about my work.
I’m not going to end up truly happy with my work any time soon by incremental hill climbing. I need to take a leap somewhere. I just wish I didn’t have to spend so long building up speed for the jump.
The challenge is turning this from killing time to a real growth experience. I feel like my work ethic is stronger than its ever been. I guess my next major hurdle is actively integrating into the web of workplace communication. Hmmmmm.
Oh well. Bed time.
radi0actv, aka, Aaron and I went out to see innsmouth, aka, Josh this weekend. After the end of work on Friday, Aaron picked me up, we went to the east end food coop, I picked up my 3 cases of soymilk (yay, good for the summer), then we got on the road. We chatted alot, (I got in virtually no reading this weekend, alas).
These past few weeks have driven me bonkers.
Being out of town all the time did not help. Not working out definitely did not help. Must make sure to balance adventure and familiarity better in the future. Also, started to worry about cute guy, (voicemail wasn’t working for him, and he didn’t call me), but caught him online. Will try to meet up again next week. Hopefully we will, but I’m not holding my breath at this point.
Spanish begins in like a week and a half. Whee.
Time for the bike home =)
I’m have two supernatural figures sitting on my shoulders. Both whispering advice into my brain. Sadly, they’re both demons.
One is saying “You have to get this paper done, and done right, you’re running out of time. It’s so important to your future. You need this professor’s recommendation to advance toward your goals. You know this is important.” These are the words of Anxiety.
The other whispers “Forget about it. This is a giant source of unneccessary stress in your life. There is no way you can get anything worth doing out in the time you have. Give it up. You’re not even sure you want to go where this is taking you. It doesn’t matter. It’s not important.” These are the words of Depression.
The unfortunate fact is, in the time I have, I can’t produce quality work, and I don’t have the motivation to do so. I respect my instructor immensely. I feel like turning in schlock is showing her disrespect. I feel like giving up is an even greater disrespect. I have learned alot from this course, but I have burned myself out in the process.
Throw on top of this a demanding job, and a volunteer effort that has eaten up many an hour for the aclu, and the fact that I’ve spent 3 out of the past 4 weekends in other towns, and I plan on not being in town this upcoming weekend. And the weekend after that, one of my closest friends in town is leaving town. I haven’t really worked out since right before leaving for dc.
I am tired. No, strike that, I am weary. And now I’m biking home. I’ll talk with my professor tomorrow, which will be something of a first for me, admitting failure to an instructor.
My bike is working again, but my laptop is still waiting for the power supply. I am so screwed on this paper. Bleh.
My teeth are vaguely in pain. So long as I brush right after I eat, it’s nothing serious, but I’m still checking in with the dentist next tuesday morning. At 8am (ugh). For the first time in over 5 years (!!!).
Jane drove me out to the Co-op, where I picked up three months worth of protein powder =), ordered another 3 months, and ordered 3 months worth of soymilk. 20% bulk discount baby =)
I could really get used to the little-sister-with-car-in-town plan =)