{"id":276,"date":"2002-09-20T17:26:00","date_gmt":"2002-09-20T22:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/?p=276"},"modified":"2002-09-20T17:26:00","modified_gmt":"2002-09-20T22:26:00","slug":"how-i-deal-with-drama","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/?p=276","title":{"rendered":"How I deal with drama"},"content":{"rendered":"

Review <\/p>\n

Had dinner with guy I’d never met before. Made out with guy after brief but tasty dinner made for me. Stopped progress before orgasm (much to my later pain). Lost cell phone while making out. Sent, to my mind, humorously phrased (definitely ambiguously phrased) message telling him I’d left something on his couch. He interpreted it as “see you soon” (a possibility I hadn’t considered). I apologized, phrased it more directly. He found it, and told me he was really tired that night, so I said I’d pick it up the next morning (today). I stayed up late, emailed him saying I probably wouldn’t catch him at home, slept, caught him on his way out the door, said I’d pick it up from him at his office at negotiated time. Called him up later and asked for a number from cell phone, for lunch plans, he gets huffy about me being on time (I suspect he thought ‘lunch plans? He’s going to be late again’). He’s very huffy and demanding about me picking it up at specific time (more specific than originally agreed upon range), and I agree to that time. <\/p>\n

More Recent Events<\/p>\n

I go, have pleasant lunch. Arrive very close to the _beginning_ of the target time range. I am also deliberately reserved in our brief interaction. He apologizes for being huffy and demanding earlier, then hands me the phone. Then he asks if he’ll see me again. I say that we can chat online. He says “You should just say ‘No.'” I roll my eyes (can’t remember if I did it verbally or actually) and leave. He says “Luck” or maybe “Good Luck” in the goodbye tone. <\/p>\n

Color me shocked, when I get home, I have email from him starting off with his declaration of respect for the direct, and moving on to how I shouldn’t brush people off indirectly. And how I shouldn’t feel I had to placate others, that I have trouble being in conflict with others, that he “senses” I can’t deal with adversity, that I was running away from him “with my tail between my legs”. That I didn’t offer a meaningful apology for standing him up this morning, etc. He then says I made him feel like a trophy on my mantle. blah, blah, blah. <\/p>\n

He does a very good job of veiling his criticism of me with the phrase “I think you…” or other phrases that mean essentially the same thing. For instance, instead of “You’re a big meanie,” or “I felt very hurt,” he’d say “I think you’re a big meanie,” which is the former masquerading as the latter. I want to rip him a new one (he asked for it, after all, right?), directly, without the masquerade of talking about myself, but I have no desire to prolong this. I’m debating ignoring him, v providing a real example of talking in the first person. We’ll see if I care tomorrow. <\/p>\n

Comments disabled, because this is here a) for me to document\/vent how I feel and b) for you to better understand what goes on in my brain. Not for cheerleading, complaining about [bay area] boys or urging towards one course of action or another.<\/p>\n

Long term prevention ideas include getting to know someone better a) before I go visiting their homes and b) before I do anything<\/i> sexual with them. Maybe I should whack off more too. Take out a cornerstone of my desire to meet random strangers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Review Had dinner with guy I’d never met before. Made out with guy after brief but tasty dinner made for me. Stopped progress before orgasm (much to my later pain). Lost cell phone while making out. Sent, to my mind, humorously phrased (definitely ambiguously phrased) message telling him I’d left something on his couch. He … Continue reading “How I deal with drama”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/276","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=276"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/276\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}