{"id":1175,"date":"2005-02-16T07:57:00","date_gmt":"2005-02-16T13:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/?p=1175"},"modified":"2005-02-16T07:57:00","modified_gmt":"2005-02-16T13:57:00","slug":"lonely-angst-life-direction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/?p=1175","title":{"rendered":"lonely angst & life direction"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s hard being an upper middle class white male with an excess endowment of congenital brains…<\/p>\n

I’m feeling lonely. Not single lonely, more hanging around home alone lonely. I get this way rather often. The times I had the least of it were when living in big, mostly harmonious households. Wightman, Phillips, and LeRoy all come to mind. would be a common thread in all of those arrangements. The only personal or locational common thread. But it’s about people. People to hang out with and interact with on a regular basis. Preferably fellow thinkers. Fellow irreverent thinkers. I dunno, but I feel it’s lack. It’ll be good to see , , and (also hopefully ). <\/p>\n

It’s worth noting that the only things I’ve had that I’d really call romantic relationships happened when I had a healthy reserve of social capital built up with a few groups. The APhiO crowd during my coming out relationship with Steve. cmuOUT, le chateau de and, to a more ambiguous extent, my housing situtation with and choli (and thereby random_vamp<\/a>) during my relationship with . And, of course, “the frathouse for geeks” and computing services during my relationship with Mark (I was a megadick when I broke up with him).<\/p>\n

There is something to be said for putting down roots, but the question in my mind is where? What soil will help me grow best into who and what I want to be? I don’t think it’ll be here. I need some place where I can move. Between the extreme cold of winter and the limited options for long distance travel, I’m not terribly mobile here. Chicago still seems like the best option to me for long term residence. Not as outrageously expensive as san fran, more mobile than any place else I’ve ever been (SF proper and Manhattan beat it, but pricetag and limited scope leave me less thrilled about them as places of residence, not to mention their extremities of coast). Some significant social capital already there for me. Now that I have a better grasp on myself, I think I could make a much better go of it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s hard being an upper middle class white male with an excess endowment of congenital brains…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1175","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1175"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1175\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1175"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1175"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1175"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}