{"id":1139,"date":"2005-01-30T22:09:00","date_gmt":"2005-01-31T04:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/?p=1139"},"modified":"2005-01-30T22:09:00","modified_gmt":"2005-01-31T04:09:00","slug":"some-tips-for-the-nonsingle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/?p=1139","title":{"rendered":"Some tips for the nonsingle"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve been trying to remember what the “four horsemen of the apocalypse” for relationships were according to some shrink out there who did some intensely voyeuristic watching of couples in arguments, approximately since I left the class in which they were introduced; they seemed like a very useful analytical tool. It was in my social psych course during my last semester at cmu before heading off to chicago, so that’s what, 5 years ago?<\/p>\n

The four horsemen (listed at the bottom of the following article) were criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. At the time, I diagnosed the end of my relationship with (a year or 2 prior to that) and decided that we’d split the horsemen down the middle, two apiece. I’ll not get into who got which. =)<\/p>\n

But this page has another useful analytical tool. The types of functional marriages. I have friends in both the “volatile” and “avoidant” types of relationships. The former takes some getting used to and can still be quite uncomfortable to be around in the heat of the moment. The latter can seem like denial. Both leave one waiting for the other shoe to fall, and for some it never does. The final type, a “validating” relationship (the only one that actually _sounds_ healthy. They could call the others “energetic” and “mellow” or something), I don’t know that I’ve seen much of. Maybe they just look like mellow marriages? <\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bccf.bc.ca\/learn\/coup_divpred.html<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve been trying to remember what the “four horsemen of the apocalypse” for relationships were according to some shrink out there who did some intensely voyeuristic watching of couples in arguments, approximately since I left the class in which they were introduced; they seemed like a very useful analytical tool. It was in my social … Continue reading “Some tips for the nonsingle”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1139","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1139","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1139"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1139\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1139"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1139"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cheerfulchaotic.crazycrew.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1139"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}